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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24961606">The Homestuck Epilogues/0</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pymparticles/pseuds/Pymparticles'>Pymparticles</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pymparticles/pseuds/sp'>sp (Pymparticles)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Homestuck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Manipulation, F/F, F/M, Gen, Homestuck - Freeform, Homestuck Epilogues - Freeform, M/M, Multi, Post-Canon, The Homestuck Epilogues</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:26:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>19,226</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24961606</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pymparticles/pseuds/Pymparticles, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pymparticles/pseuds/sp</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Homestuck Epilogues (2019) were a fantastic exercise in deconstructing how a story could be told. They dealt wonderfully with issues such as unreliable narrators and weaponised text. However, they left quite a sour taste in a few peoples' mouths as the promised conclusions for the characters within were never really met.</p><p>The Homestuck Epilogues/0 is my attempt at taking the themes dealt with in The Homestuck Epilogues (canon manipulation, free will, etc.) and using them to approach the story differently.</p><p>Having read The Homestuck Epilogues will provide more context to the decisions made throughout The Homestuck Epilogues/0, but the only mandatory reading is the first 3 prologues (https://www.homestuck.com/epilogues/prologue/1), as this story picks up right after prologue 3. Reading both Homestuck and The Homestuck Epilogues is advised.</p><p>Enjoy.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Calliope/Roxy Lalonde, Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Jade Harley/Dave Strider, Jade Harley/Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Jade Harley/Karkat Vantas, John Egbert/Roxy Lalonde, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, Terezi Pyrope/Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Terezi Pyrope/Karkat Vantas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Ccccccccccc/0000.0.000</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Ccccccccccc/0000.0.000</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>0: 1s 1t really necessary to cont1nue th1s masquerade for th1s long?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: “this l0ng” is a pretty redundant c0ncept right n0w c0nsidering the fact that the c0ncept 0f a linear pr0gressi0n 0f time is, as we b0th kn0w, t0tal bullshit.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>0: hmm</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>0: but the whole po1nt of manifest1ng 1n such a way as th1s was to prov1de a sense of relevance to the scenar1o we are about to undertake. or have already undertaken. or are undertaking. depend1ng on how you look at 1t.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: thats fair. a dash 0f relevance t0 the essentiality fulfils a surprising am0unt of the qu0ta we need.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>0: wow you really are sound1ng l1ke *her*.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: lma0. kind 0f inevitable when 0ne reaches the p0int of ascensi0n that we have. the wh0le c0ncept 0f individuality bec0mes a bit…</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: fuzzy.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: right n0w were manifested at ab0ut a planck length 0f a planck length shy 0f c0mpleting 0ur ascensi0n. if the first t0 g0 is the barriers between each 0f 0ur “selves” then its 0nly natural that eventually the barriers between 0ur “selves” and 0thers g0 next.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>0: 1 know all th1s.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: 0f c0urse y0u do. were literally 0n the same page here. but given that weve ch0sen t0 present in such a way, a bit 0f dial0gic exp0siti0n will d0 w0nders t0 add a sprinkling of truth int0 everything were ab0ut t0 d0</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>0: aaaahh</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: but y0u already kn0w all this. and im n0w just realising y0uve played me and had me explain my 0wn p0int to myself in 0rder to fulfil the necessity 0f having t0 explain it. fair fucking play</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>0: hehe :)</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: s0 fr0m n0w 0n, it pr0bably w0uld be beneficial t0 refer t0 f0rthc0ming events in a m0re linear fashi0n, especially since that’s h0w theyll perceive it</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>0: agreed. but 1 do have a couple of quest1ons before we start that 1 dont qu1te understand</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: is it actually s0mething y0u d0nt understand? 0r is it just s0mething y0ure asking f0r the sake 0f narrative clarity f0r the benefit 0f 0thers?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>0: does 1t matter?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: …</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: g0 ahead.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>0: why masquerade as th1s? all th1s 1 and 0 talk? why not 1 and 2?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>0: why not masquerade as someone or someth1ng more relevant to whats happen1ng? </strong>
  <span class="karkat"><strong>IT WOULD BE PRETTY FUCKING EASY TO DO THAT AND PROBABLY A WHOLE LOT MORE ACCESSIBLE TOO. </strong></span>
  <span class="roxy"><strong>like i rly dont think anyone would mind at all lmao? </strong></span>
  <span class="jade"><strong>it might even end up being more fun too! </strong></span>
  <span class="dave"><strong>just a thought for you to consider</strong></span></p><p>
  <strong>1: 0h we abs0lutely c0uld, but then if it were pretty easy f0r anyone t0 digest, it w0uld be pretty fucking easy f0r him to d0 s0 t00.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>0: h1m be1ng the pr1nce r1ght?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: 0f c0urse.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>0: but 1snt the whole po1nt of us do1ng th1s to undo what he d1d?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: und0? abs0lutely fucking n0t. that w0uld be c0mplete f0lly.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>0: oh?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: und0ing anything he has already d0ne w0uld serve n0 purp0se whats0ever. al0ng with being imp0ssible, metaphysically tip-exing 0ut his influence 0n existing can0n d0es appr0ximately jack dick t0 change the fact that s0mewhere, 0ut there, it happened. 0r is happening. 0r will happen. depending 0n h0w y0u l00k at it.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: n0, 0ur purp0se is much different.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>0: again; oh?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: the str0ke 0f the princes brush is wide but it d0es n0t fill the wh0le canvas. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: fr0m his perspective hes 0nly just begun his ascensi0n 0ut there in what he c0nsiders can0n. its 0ur j0b t0 secure a sp0t f0r every0ne far fr0m the influence 0f that. quite literally unt0uchable.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>0: so a non-canon bubble for everyone to l1ve happ1ly ever after?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: haha. n0. happily ever after is n0t s0mething f0r us to decide. its up t0 them t0 live as they see fit, far fr0m the influence 0f the prince, and us. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: n0t n0n-canon, but n0t can0n. at least n0t can0n in the way he perceives it. a new type of can0n. ill get back t0 y0u 0n a name f0r it.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>0: and the reason were here be1ng all b1nary about 1t 1s to fly under the radar so to speak?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: yeah exactly. manifesting in this way, as 0pp0sed to how we USED t0 be when we were m0re relevant is the m0st basic way for us t0 retain 0ur individuality. anything m0re telling than that w0uld be b0und to draw undue attenti0n fr0m the prince.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: and as f0r why we didnt settle 0n a 1 and 2? that w0uld imply a sense 0f hierarchy between us.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>0: but 0 and 1 doesnt?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: in a numerical sense, sure, but in a m0re basic sense, its the simplest way we can express individuality whilst still maintaining a level 0f equality between us. the m0st basic way t0 express 2 diametrically 0pp0sed individuals. while we can still call 0urselves individuals.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>0: pretty sweet of you to let us be equal, espec1ally s1nce you were the f1rst to ascend :o</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: fr0m their perspective sure, but fr0m 0urs-</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>0: we are, always have been, and always w1ll be equal. depend1ng on how you look at 1t ;)</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: n0w y0ure getting it.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>0: oh 1 had 1t from the start! just thought 1d give you the pleasure of runn1ng out some expos1t1on before we get th1s whole th1ng roll1ng!</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: i d0 genuinely appreciate that.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>0: youre welcome!</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: s0. d0es that clear everything up?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>0: absolutely fuck1ng not.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: excellent, all in due time.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>0: how do we even go about starting th1s anyway…</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: its a new experience for the b0th 0f us. and pr0bably the most imp0rtant experience f0r the b0th of us t00. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: s0 i guess we just jump straight in and say.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1: lets fucking g0.</strong>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Food Truck</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The choice presented to John has been resting uneasily for a while now. It's time to take matters into his own hands. He's hungry, and needs to do something about it.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">The Homestuck Epilogues/0</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">Chapter 2 – Food Truck</span>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>The longer John stares at the food, the more unsettled his stomach becomes.</p><p>The meat, borderline raw to the bone, sits lazily on the plate, almost mocking John like a fatty, bulbous, oozing sore. A cruel mockery of the lethargy he’s felt the past… how many years now? Browning slightly in the sun, spoiling more and more by the second. If he doesn’t take the meat now, it’ll just taste even worse if he comes back to it later.</p><p>The candy doesn’t prove a much sweeter alternative. Just one glance toward the sickly bowl is all John needs before he can already feel the bile working its way up his stomach to the periphery of his throat. Crunching on something this sweet on an already empty stomach is a recipe for disaster; and vomit.</p><p>Perhaps if he’d had chance to line his stomach beforehand, either one of the options might seem that much more palatable, but it’s not like he’d had time to do that. Rose had sounded more urgent than ever, and the rush of having literally anything to do had pumped out enough adrenaline to provide a phantom feeling of fulfilment as far as culinary necessities go. Now that it was beginning to wear off, he’s hungry. Hungry for something a bit more substantial than the limited cuisine presented before him.</p><p>
 <span class="john"> <strong>JOHN: uh… is this… all we have?</strong></span>
  <strong><br/>
<span class="calliope">CALLIOPE: oh, i’m terribly sorry john! i take it yoU were perhaps expecting something a bit more… adventUroUs?</span></strong>
</p><p>She sounds disappointed when she speaks. The last thing John wanted was to rub his old friend and her… girlfriend (???) the wrong way, but the mere sight of the disappointing picnic in front of him is making him feel ill. Cold. Like when he first woke up this morning.</p><p>
  <span class="john"><strong>JOHN: yeah… no. no callie don’t worry, i’m sorry. it’s just been so long since i’ve done anything like this with anyone at all, i just don’t know what i expected.</strong></span>
  <strong><br/>
<span class="roxy">ROXY: lmao john, maybe bring ur own food next time we have a picnic in that case<br/>
</span>
<span class="john">JOHN: next time?</span></strong>
</p><p>The words catch him by surprise. As much as he was enjoying having company for the first time in an age, there was a small nagging feeling this was all something set up by Rose in order to further this mission she’d sent him on. Did Roxy genuinely want to spend some time with him beyond this? This does absolutely nothing to ease the queasiness.</p><p>
  <span class="roxy"><strong>ROXY: yeah, i wasnt gonna say anything but like... did u rly not bring anything to the picnic? i just kinda assumed u were gonna u know... bring a pack up or somethin. let us all share whatever we brought</strong></span>
  <strong><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: oh, yeah i was kind of in a rush this morning after seeing rose, it didn’t sound like we had a lot of time to spare so i just dashed here as soon as i could, i’m sorry.<br/>
</span>
<span class="roxy">ROXY: dude stop apologisin so much, im just messing w u<br/>
</span>
<span class="john">JOHN: i haven’t eaten in a good while, i’m starving roxy, hold up i’ll grab something, i’ll bring something else over.</span></strong>
</p><p>He scans the park quickly. Carapacians are enjoying the weather as usual, and enjoying each other’s company even more. He spots a food truck by the other side of the park, and squints, trying to make out what it’s selling.</p><p>It’s too far away, he can’t tell. John glances back to the food Calliope already brought, then back to the food truck. Back again. Food truck again. Yeah, whatever the hell’s being sold over here is definitely the better choice.</p><p>
  <span class="john"><strong>JOHN: i’ll be back in just a second guys, i’ll grab us all a bite from over there, oh and some drinks too! haha, sure is hot out today, staying hydrated is key and all that.</strong></span>
  <strong><br/>
<span class="roxy">ROXY: lol sure</span></strong>
</p><p>He fumbles about for his wallet in his trouser pocket, but of course, he doesn’t have it after the rush this morning.</p><p>
  <span class="john"><strong>JOHN: fuck...</strong></span>
  <strong><br/>
<span class="roxy">ROXY: sup john, need some change?</span></strong>
</p><p>John feels himself going red, already messing up his first real semblance of interaction with another human in what feels like decades.</p><p>
  <span class="john"><strong>JOHN: no no, don’t worry, it’s fine. i’ll be fine, just give me a minute.</strong></span>
</p><p>John sets off through the park, making a hasty getaway in hopes he can reset the conversation when he returns. He’s banking on being able to use his status as a literal God to blag some free food from the carapacian vendor, but of course they’d actually have to remember who he is for that to work. A risky move, John, let’s see if it pays off.</p><p>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>
  <span class="calliope"><strong>CALLIOPE: well, that was less painfUl that i expected</strong></span>
  <strong><br/>
<span class="roxy">ROXY: hmmm, idk i think rose was p clear with what needed to be done<br/>
</span>
<span class="calliope">CALLIOPE: me too, bUt i believe we can only go so far withoUt robbing john of his agency. he had a choice to make, and be that as it may, a choice has been made. albeit a slightly different one that the ones we had banked on.</span></strong>
</p><p>Calliope closes her eyes as she speaks, and sets her hands down on the picnic blanket. She sighs, resignedly, but calm. Relieved is the word Roxy would use.</p><p>
  <span class="roxy"><strong>ROXY: yeah, on his own terms too. rejection is just as valid as confirmation i suppose.</strong></span>
  <strong><br/>
<span class="calliope">CALLIOPE: absolUtely.</span></strong>
</p><p>Calliope opens her eyes again, and smiles at Roxy. A forced smile, but a smile nonetheless.</p><p>
  <span class="roxy"><strong>ROXY: i only know so much as for what rose was blabbin on about, but i got the gist of it. wonder how this is gonna play out now, i hope johnll be ok tho, poor guy.</strong></span>
  <strong><br/>
<span class="calliope">CALLIOPE: i have Utmost certainty that come what may, we will all be better off as a resUlt of whatever choice our heir has chosen to make. i trUly, trUly believe that, roxy.<br/>
</span>
<span class="roxy">ROXY: lmao “our heir”<br/>
Roxy: callie u make me laugh u know that?</span></strong>
</p><p>Calliope manages a genuine laugh through the forced smile. She does know that.</p><p>
  <span class="roxy"><strong>ROXY: u rly do sound like h-</strong></span>
</p><p>Roxy is interrupted by a rising murmur from the carapacians surrounding them. A few begin to rise to their feet, pointing behind where Roxy is sitting. She hadn’t noticed the murmur growing louder given she’d been so focused on her conversation with Calliope, but it was nigh impossible to ignore right now.</p><p>She swivels around and focuses her gaze up to the sky where the collective crowds are pointing.</p><p>
  <span class="calliope"><strong>CALLIOPE: what on earth?? </strong></span>
</p><p>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>
  <span class="john"><strong>JOHN: no, i don’t have any on me, look i didn’t bring it i was in a rush this morning. can’t you just like... let it slide? i can legit just give you the money later on, i invented the money here! it doesn’t even mean anything!</strong></span>
</p><p>The carapacian inside the food truck is having none of it. He shakes his head resolutely and points again to the prices listed behind him. Literal Founding God of the Homeworld or not, this guy has a business to run, and surely a God would be better suited than anyone to pay even more jacked up prices for a trio of hot dogs, you would think?</p><p>
  <span class="john"><strong>JOHN: fine... look, i’ll be back, i’ll grab some change or something, can you just save my place in the line?</strong></span>
</p><p>The disapproving shakes from the plethora of carapacians behind him answers his question without a word.</p><p>John scurries back off across the park, hoping to return to what will doubtlessly be a slightly less awkward situation than the one he just left. He squeezes his way through densely packed crowds of carapacians, all on their feet in unison.</p><p>
  <span class="john"><strong>JOHN: sorry, just-<br/>
JOHN: just squeezing through here, sorry i...<br/>
JOHN: yeah, just gotta get past, uh thanks<br/>
JOHN: can i just uh, wait what?</strong></span>
</p><p>John quickly catches note of what the carapacians are all gawking at. What’s the big deal, never seen a plane before? He carries on moving through the crowds, shaking his head before doing a double take himself. Wait, that was a plane from home, right? Like, home-home. Pre-game home. 2009 home.</p><p>He takes another look up at the sky, rising a few feet above the carapacians to get a clearer view, unobstructed by chitinous arms blocking his vision. Sure enough, a clean trail streaks through the sky. A familiar view for anyone even remotely acquainted with the concept of jetsetting. But... the planes here don’t leave those trails, right? They don’t need jet fuel, they run on... fuck, what do they run on, John? It doesn’t matter, it’s an alien enough sight to the carapacians that it may as well be a literal alien.</p><p>Across the growing crowds of perturbed chess denizens, John spots Roxy also hovering above the crowd, with Calliope at her feet.</p><p>No sooner has he caught sight of her, he redirects his attention to the streak moving through the sky. As if waiting for John’s undivided attention, the object at the head of the streak quickly moves into an arc, turning a smooth 90 degrees southward, and plummeting to the ground at a frightening velocity.</p><p>The crowd’s murmurs are quick to erupt into screams as the... the... unit? At the front of the trail smashes into the ground before they have time to react.</p><p>Roxy swivels around, scanning the crowd before finding John almost instantly. They’re too far away to speak, and above the screams of the fleeing crowd they wouldn’t be able to hear each other anyway. With a quick glance, both of them zoom towards the impact site. Whatever it is that’s cursed them with their presence, John and Roxy feel better equipped to deal with it than even a thousand carapacians.</p><p>They soon arrive at the crash site, to scenes of mud, dust, smoke, and debris.</p><p>
  <span class="roxy"><strong>ROXY: john what the actual fuck is goin on</strong></span>
  <strong><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: fuck if i know! is this something to do with what rose was saying earlier? oh man fuck is this lord english are we gonna have to fight him now?<br/>
</span>
<span class="roxy">ROXY: no!! no this isnt how it was meant to go! look, what is that?</span></strong>
</p><p>Roxy points towards the settling smog, and sees the debris begin to move. When the dust parts, her clarity of the crash site increases. She can see shards and scraps of metal strewn across the crater, mainly gathered in a large lump at the centre of the impact.</p><p>
  <span class="john"><strong>JOHN: ok i am fucking freaked out, do we help?</strong></span>
  <strong><br/>
<span class="roxy">ROXY: john shh!</span></strong>
</p><p>Shhing is the last thing John wants to be doing right now. The crowd has settled their screams as they gather around the crater, but John’s adrenaline is pumping, and he’s finding it hard to keep quiet. He looks to Roxy for answers but finds her still fixed on the debris.</p><p>He can’t take it any longer. John floats down from the edge of the crash site and into the crater.</p><p>
  <span class="john"><strong>JOHN: hello? uh, what the fuck is this all about?</strong></span>
</p><p>A grey hand breaks through the debris, followed by a rather intense bought of coughing and spluttering. He hears a few shrieks from the crowd as the first signs of life begin to manifest, and even more as the pilot emerges from the wreckage.</p><p>
  <span class="john"><strong>JOHN: DUDE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE??</strong></span>
</p><p>His question will go unanswered for a short while longer, as John does not currently need to know what the fuck this dude is doing here. Neither does Roxy, apparently, as the pilot, still covered in blood, mud and dust climbs up the side of the small crater, and straight past them without even giving a glance in their direction.</p><p>No, instead they’re focused directly on Calliope, who is at the forefront of the crowd. The pilot quickly moves to her position, arm outstretched and bony finger pointed accusedly in her direction. Calliope gasps and covers her mouth as the first of many questions are asked.</p><p>
  <span class="terezi"><strong>TEREZI: WH3R3 1S SH3</strong></span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Don't worry. "SH3" is not Vriska.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Domesticity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jade pays her best friends a visit, and ends up inadvertently finding out exactly where she stands in terms of a relationship with them.</p>
<p>Karkat remembers an old friend.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">
    <strong>The Homestuck Epilogues/0</strong>
  </span>
</p>
<p><br/>
<span class="u">
    <strong>Chapter 3 – Domesticity</strong>
  </span>
</p>
<p><br/>
The low hum the of air conditioning mixed with several different electronics is exactly what Jade expects to greet her as she opens the door to Dave and Karkat’s hive, slipping into the darkness within.</p>
<p>A cool, perfectly regulated ecosystem, monitored to ensure maximum ambience in the temperature within, a hermetically sealed environment guaranteeing nothing coming in, or going out of the hive. Nothing except the residents, that is.</p>
<p>Jade doesn’t need to knock, nor does she need a key to enter. The boys leave their hive perpetually unlocked, meaning that the removal of worrying about losing house keys reduces their critical concern levels to precisely 0. One could be forgiven for mistaking the lack of a functioning security mechanism for a welcoming environment, but as Dave and Karkat’s neighbours were all too aware, why on earth would anyone want to be welcomed in here? A metaphysical stench of ennui permeates the hive, along with a significantly more physical stench of damp laundry combined with post-pubescent musk. No, the only people welcomed into this hive were the residents, and much to their displeasure, one Ms Harley.</p>
<p>
  <span class="jade">JADE: dave??</span>
</p>
<p>Jade steps over the pile of shoes littering the entrance. What could two people who never leave their hive possibly need with so many pairs of shoes? It’s not like they wear them around the hive.</p>
<p>Jade tuts as she steps over and continues her search.</p>
<p>
  <span class="jade">JADE: dave?<br/>
JADE: dave can you hear me?</span>
</p>
<p>The lack of response is eventually broken by a groan from the front room, cutting through the hum of AC and the television.</p>
<p>
  <span class="karkat">KARKAT: HE’S NOT HERE.</span>
</p>
<p>The responder doesn’t surprise Jade, but the response itself does.</p>
<p>
  <span class="jade">JADE: what do you mean he isnt here? where is he?</span><br/>
<span class="karkat">KARKAT: I MEAN HE’S NOT FUCKING HERE. HE’S OUT. GONE OUT. LIKE OUTSIDE? WHERE PEOPLE GO.</span><br/>
<span class="jade">JADE: since when do EITHER of you go outside?!</span>
</p>
<p>Karkat’s gaze doesn’t break from the tv set as Jade follows his dulcet tones into the front room.</p>
<p>
  <span class="karkat">KARKAT: WE DO GO OUT, DUMBASS. WHEN WE NEED TO ANYWAY, WHICH I SUPPOSE ISN’T ALL TOO OFTEN.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span class="jade">JADE: so what could possibly be so important that he had to leave his little karkat all home alone for? hehe</span>
</p>
<p>Karkat breaks his gaze away from the programming to make his displeasure with Jade’s response clear. He frowns at her and considers his response while letting her soak in the grimace.</p>
<p>
  <span class="karkat">KARKAT: THIS?</span>
</p>
<p>Karkat shakes the bag of chips he’s holding, and switches his gaze back to the television.</p>
<p>
  <span class="jade">JADE: so hes gone to do the groceries?</span><br/>
<span class="karkat">KARKAT: BINGO.</span><br/>
<span class="jade">JADE: and would it have been so difficult for you to just... tell me that straight off?</span><br/>
<span class="karkat">KARKAT: PROBABLY NOT. BUT WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I CARE? YOU CAME HERE TO FLIRT WITH HIM, AND HE’S NOT HERE. YOU GOT THE INFORMATION YOU NEEDED AND NOW THERE’S NO NEED FOR YOU TO STICK AROUND, SO NOW YOU CAN BE ON YOUR WAY. SEE YA.</span>
</p>
<p>Jade pouts, partly because she’s annoyed that Karkat is being so dismissive of her, and partly because what he’s saying isn’t exactly false.</p>
<p>Dropping round Dave and Karkat’s hive was not an unusual activity for Jade. Since arriving on Earth C, most of her friends’ commitments had been limited, to say the least. Part of the boon of being literal Gods was that sacrificing a significant portion of your formative years to commit to the formation of a new universe paid dividends when it came to making up that free time as a young adult. And if it just so happened that Jade chose to spend that time hanging out with her two besties, then what was so wrong with that?</p>
<p>She floats into a resting position on the sofa next to Karkat. She’s not going to let this trip here be for nothing.</p>
<p>
  <span class="jade">JADE: soooo i take it you couldnt go with him to the store for... what was the reason again?</span><br/>
<span class="karkat">KARKAT: THE REASON? WHAT REASON? WHY THE FUCK WOULD WE NEED BOTH OF US TO GO TO THE STORE?</span><br/>
<span class="jade">JADE: for some company? to lend a hand?</span><br/>
<span class="karkat">KARKAT: I’M PRETTY SURE DAVE’S CONFIDENT ENOUGH TO CARRY THE GROCERIES BACK BY HIMSELF, HE DOESN’T NEED MY HELP.</span><br/>
<span class="jade">JADE: what, so you just leave all the domestic stuff to him while you sit on your ass doing this all day?</span>
</p>
<p>Karkat scrunches his eyes slightly at the mention of the word domestic while Jade gestures towards the slum that is their front room. Games console wires are strewn about the floor, barely noticeable against the dimly lit carpet, with half empty glasses and bottles littered next to them.</p>
<p>
  <span class="karkat">KARKAT: NOT TRUE, I DO THE COOKING, YOU KNOW THAT. I’VE FUCKING COOKED FOR YOU WHEN YOU’VE COME ROUND BEFORE!</span><br/>
<span class="jade">JADE: ok so you use the microwave...</span><br/>
<span class="karkat">KARKAT: IS THAT NOT COOKING?</span>
</p>
<p>Jade sighs as she edges closer to Karkat on the sofa. His gaze is still fixed on whatever cartoon he was watching when she came in, but her gaze is fixed directly on the boy in front of her. She rests her forearm on the back of the sofa and extends her fingers to the nape of his neck. Her fingernails are long enough to break through his thick mess of hair, and scrape gently across his taut, grey skin. Jade knows he likes it here, as much as he’d never admit it. She’d seen him lean into it on rare occasions before, when he’d been in one of his more subdued moods, late in the evening when he thinks Dave’s not looking, so it comes as a surprise when he leans forward away from her, without giving her a second glance.</p>
<p>None of the usual trademark Vantas protesting and flipping out, cursing down the house and telling Jade where to shove it. A simple movement away from her is more cutting and shocking than any amount of obscenities he could possibly spew right now.</p>
<p>
  <span class="karkat">KARKAT: DO YOU MIND?</span><br/>
<span class="jade">JADE: uh, what?</span><br/>
<span class="karkat">KARKAT: DO YOU FUCKING MIND? I’M WATCHING SOMETHING HERE. NOT IN THE FUCKING MOOD.</span>
</p>
<p>Jade retreats her hand from the sofa and puts it in her lap, looking down at it sheepishly.</p>
<p>
  <span class="jade">JADE: its just... well i dont know, i thought...</span><br/>
<span class="karkat">KARKAT: WHAT? YOU THOUGHT WHAT? DAVE’S NOT HERE SO YOU THOUGHT YOU’D JUST HAVE YOUR FUCKING WAY WITH ME? INTERRUPT MY PRETTY FUCKING HIGHLY VALUED ALONE TIME TO PISS ME OFF AND GET YOUR KICKS, IS THAT WHAT?</span><br/>
<span class="jade">JADE: what no!! no not at all!!! no its not like i like dave more than you or anything, if thats what youre worried about.</span>
</p>
<p>Karkat lets out a breath through his nose, the smallest gesture resembling a laugh he can manage.</p>
<p>
  <span class="karkat">KARKAT: YEAH THAT’S CLEARLY WHAT I’M FUCKING CONCERNED ABOUT HERE. OH NO THE GIRL HAS A BIGGER CRUSH ON MY COOL FRIEND, I’M SOOOO FUCKING GUTTED, DAMN WE BETTER GET OUT ON THE SCHOOLYARD AND FIGHT TO THE DEATH FOR THIS SHIT.</span>
</p>
<p>He’s being more verbose than before, but not in his usual way. It would be a lot more fun for Jade if he flipped out like usual, they got into one of their pretend play arguments, and he got all riled up and embarassed. But this? This isn’t fun, is it Jade?</p>
<p>She feels her stomach drop slightly as Karkat continues to leave the pair in a deafening silence. No, it certainly isn’t fun. It’s not much fun for her and it certainly doesn’t seem like much fun for Karkat either.</p>
<p>While spending more time around Dave seems to have chilled out Karkat in the frame of the bigger picture, Jade realises that this is one of the few times she’s ever got to spend with him without Dave around. The change in attitude is pretty remarkable, as he seems a lot less volatile and easy to rile up than usual. More steadfast.</p>
<p>
  <span class="karkat">KARKAT: NO, IT COULDN’T POSSIBLY BE THAT I DON’T LIKE HAVING A FRIEND COME INTO MY HOUSE AND FUCKING MOLEST ME AT A MOMENT’S NOTICE?? NO IT DEFINITELY MUST BE THAT YOU LIKE STRIDER MORE THAN ME, OH WOE BE-FUCKING-FORE ME.</span>
</p>
<p>His words are cutting, and more than that, they’re true. There’s a fine line in a game of chase, which when crossed turns the whole situation from a playground game to something more along the lines of a fox hunt. And Jade suspects she’s very recently pushed Karkat into adopting a fox as his fursona, with her happily taking on the role of hunting dog.</p>
<p>
  <span class="jade">JADE: karkat, i’m... i’m sorry. honestly, i’m sorry.</span><br/>
<span class="karkat">KARKAT: .....</span><br/>
<span class="jade">JADE: i never thought you like... ACTUALLY didn’t like this stuff? i guess i kinda assumed we were all just playing along?</span><br/>
<span class="karkat">KARKAT: YEAH NOT LIKE I FUCKING SAID IT A THOUSAND TIMES OR ANYTHING. KARKAT FUCKING VANTAS, ANGRY ALL THE TIME SO HIM FLIPPING HIS LID DOESN’T MEAN SHIT, OH HE’S SO FUNNY WHEN HE’S MAD, LET’S GO ROUND AND RILE HIM UP SO I CAN GET OFF ON IT, I’M SO FUCKING FUNNY.</span>
</p>
<p>Jade feels her lip trembling, but she sucks it up. She’s not here for pity or sympathy. Her mind races for the next words in her apology but she’s coming up blank. Had Karkat really thought this way for so long? Ever since she started hanging out with him and Dave, she’d enjoyed their fruitless flirting sessions each time they’d met up. It had been fun teasing the pair of them about being boyfriends and offering to interject herself into their relationship. It had been fun imagining that life, even if it was just playing pretend. It had been fun even if deep down she knew it would never happen, that that’s not what they wanted, but that’s what made it harmless, right? It was just harmless fun with her best friends, nothing more, nothing less. The glimmer of hope that maybe the seeds she’d sewn would one day bear fruit were nice, but there wasn’t anything wrong with what she was doing, was there?</p>
<p>
  <span class="jade">JADE: i thought it was all good fun with the 3 of us, im so sorry karkat. you know i didnt mean to upset you, thats the LAST thing i want out of any of this.</span>
</p>
<p>She winces at her choice of words as soon as she says them. Upset, really?</p>
<p>The silence between them grows again, until Karkat leans forward and pushes the mute button on the television remote for the first time since Jade arrived. He turns to face her, his face solemn. Not angry, or pissed, or upset, or any of the limited emotions Karkat had proven to have in his range. No, this time it was a rare serious expression that Jade had never really seen him wear before.</p>
<p>
  <span class="karkat">KARKAT: LOOK, I GET IT, ALRIGHT? I GET IT.</span><br/>
<span class="jade">JADE: get what?</span><br/>
<span class="karkat">KARKAT: WHAT YOU’RE DOING HERE. WITH ME AND DAVE? I GET IT.</span><br/>
<span class="jade">JADE: .....</span><br/>
<span class="karkat">KARKAT: I GET THAT YOU WANT TO BE WITH US. LIKE HERE WITH US. AS PART OF... THIS. WHATEVER THIS IS.</span>
</p>
<p>He gestures around the room.</p>
<p>
  <span class="karkat">KARKAT: I GET IT, BUT I REALLY DON’T FUCKING LIKE IT. AND I DON’T WANT IT.</span>
</p>
<p>In all her years of knowing Karkat, Jade has never heard him speak like this before. He seems more collected, more subdued, and yet more confident than ever before. Was this because Dave wasn’t around? The bravado and the obnoxiousness nowadays serving as something of a facade constructed when his best friend was around? This already feels like one of the first real conversations Jade’s ever had with the guy she considers her best friend.</p>
<p>Jade relaxes her posture. She feared a berating and a screaming match, but to actually be able to communicate with Karkat, for once in both their lifetimes? It feels refreshing. She should really try and catch him without Dave more often.</p>
<p>
  <span class="jade">JADE: i guess i never really considered that you wouldn’t... like me the same way i like you? or that you like dave?</span><br/>
<span class="karkat">KARKAT: LIKE? JADE WE’RE FUCKING ADULTS CAN WE PLEASE SPEAK LIKE THEM FOR ONCE IN OUR LIVES?</span><br/>
<span class="jade">JADE: uh, sorry</span><br/>
<span class="karkat">KARKAT: OF COURSE I LIKE YOU?? YOU’RE MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND. YOU AND DAVE. AND IF YOU DIDN’T COME ROUND HERE EVERY SECOND DAY WITH THE EXPRESS PURPOSE OF CLEARLY FUCKING ONE OR BOTH OF US, I’D LIKE YOU A WHOLE LOT MORE!!</span>
</p>
<p>A smile forces its way out of Jade, followed by a short laugh. Even though he entire perception of Karkat has just been shaken, she can still tell when he’s trying to make light of a situation.</p>
<p>
  <span class="karkat">KARKAT: BUT IT’S NOT LIKE THAT. NOT WITH YOU. NOT WITH DAVE. NOT WITH ANYONE.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span class="jade">JADE: i mean i think a part of me is.. god i feel dumb for saying this... but jealous? when i see you and dave?</span><br/>
<span class="karkat">KARKAT: WELL, DON’T BE. LIKE I SAID IT’S NOT LIKE THAT. SORRY.</span><br/>
<span class="jade">JADE: karkat you really dont have to apologise. fuck, im the one apologising here today, not you!!</span><br/>
<span class="karkat">KARKAT: OK, APOLOGY FUCKING RESCINDED.</span><br/>
<span class="jade">JADE: i think a part of me was waiting for you to figure it all out with you and dave, and i was just pushing you along, but it looks like you kinda already have it figure out, just not in the way i was wanting.</span><br/>
<span class="karkat">KARKAT: DING DING WE HAVE A FUCKING WINNER, 10 POINTS TO HARLEY.<br/>
KARKAT: LOOK. I LIKE MY LIFE. I KNOW YOU PROBABLY DON’T LIKE MY LIFE, BUT I DO. I LIKE LIVING HERE WITH DAVE, AND I LIKE HANGING OUT WITH YOU. I DON’T REALLY SEE ANYONE ELSE, AND DON’T TELL THEM I SAID THAT, BUT I ***VERY*** FUCKING MUCH LIKE THAT.</span>
</p>
<p>Were those really the only people Karkat saw? He obviously doesn’t get out of the hive much, and he’s being more honest than usual, Jade thinks, but surely those weren’t the only people Karkat cared enough about to interact with?</p>
<p>
  <span class="jade">JADE: is this...</span>
</p>
<p>Jade thinks back to a conversation she once heard Dave and Karkat discussing, not long after their arrival on Earth C. A private matter she thought best to tread around lightly. Something that most certainly did not involve her.</p>
<p>
  <span class="jade">JADE: is this about her?</span><br/>
<span class="karkat">KARKAT: JADE YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO BE A BIT MORE SPECIFIC THAN A GARGANTUAN PORTION OF THE ENTIRE FUCKING PLANET’S POPULATION.</span><br/>
<span class="jade">JADE: terezi.</span>
</p>
<p>Karkat chews on her words in silence for a couple of seconds before offering a response.</p>
<p>
  <span class="karkat">KARKAT: TEREZI’S DEAD.</span><br/>
<span class="jade">JADE: i know! i know, i just knew you two were also close, like we are now.</span>
</p>
<p>Karkat employs the same pause as before, uncharacteristically choosing his words before speaking them.</p>
<p>
  <span class="karkat">KARKAT: ONCE UPON A TIME, SURE. BUT SHE’S DEAD. SHE LEFT US HERE AND DIED FUCK KNOWS WHERE. THAT WAS HER CHOICE.</span><br/>
<span class="jade">JADE: yeah. im sorry.</span>
</p>
<p>The silence between them is deafening once again, and Jade regrets broaching the topic immediately. The only thing she can think to do in retort is to offer a gesture of comfort to her friend, so she reaches out a hand again, and this time places it on top of Karkat’s, resting on the sofa.</p>
<p>He doesn’t pull away this time. Maybe he can sense that the gesture was made out of comfort, and nothing else, or maybe his mind is just occupied with thoughts of elsewhere, and whoever may reside there.</p>
<p>Their hands rest on one another until Jade can feel Karkat’s skin warming up to hers, and only then does she move it away and rise to her feet.</p>
<p>
  <span class="jade">JADE: thanks for talking to me karkat. i really am sorry. about everything i can be.<br/>
JADE: i wont tell dave about this.</span>
</p>
<p>The television is already unmuted before Jade can finish her second sentence, but she’s sure Karkat heard.</p>
<p>
  <span class="jade">JADE: hey, maybe next time you and dave might want to come round to my place for dinner? :)</span><br/>
<span class="karkat">KARKAT: I’LL ASK DAVE.</span><br/>
<span class="jade">JADE: hehe, im sure you will!</span>
</p>
<p>Jade leaves Karkat to his anime once again, more hopeful than usual that maybe she’ll be the one to have visitors this time next week.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Getting straight in there with fanning the smouldering embers of the Karezi fire, because what else would I do?</p>
<p>Also fear not jade/dave/kat shippers, the ship isn't completely sunk. There's still a LONG fucking way before we reach the end of the story.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. H3R</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Our heroes reach the eye of the storm. Time to either evacuate, or batten down the hatches.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">The Homestuck Epilogues/0</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">Chapter 4 – H3R</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>The trio of words departing from Terezi’s mouth is enough to shock the majority of the carapacians into silence. Her voice carries, and it carries far. It cracks through the park with all the jagged authority it has always possessed, having lost none of its bite during the time Terezi has spent away.</p>
<p>John is the first to break the silence, although he maintains his look of bewilderment, shock, horror and awe all at the same time. Nice job conveying that much shit at once, John.</p>
<p> <span class="john">JOHN: what the fuck is this?! terezi what’s going on right now? WHY ARE YOU HERE?!</span> </p>
<p>John’s attempt at controlling the situation is pitiful. As much as he so desperately means the questions he’s yelling at his old friend stood barely 10 feet away from him, his voice barely carries to the periphery of the crater they’ve found themselves in. Terezi is in control right now. The entire park is fixated on her as they await her next move, which very quickly proves to be the same as the previous.</p>
<p> <span class="terezi">TEREZI: WH3R3<br/>
TEREZI: 1S SH3</span> </p>
<p>Terezi repeats the question, far more accusatory in tone than before, her battered, chipped finger still pointed straight at Calliope.</p>
<p>
  <span class="calliope">CALLIOPE: i... i really don’t know what’s going on! terezi please! tell Us what’s happening this is all so very Unexpected right now!</span>
</p>
<p>Calliope holds her hands in front of her, immediately assuming a defensive posture as Terezi advances towards her, leaving the crater, and John, behind her. She quickly finds herself scanning the park for Roxy, immediately employing a defense mechanism of searching for solidarity for the first time in a LONG time. Life had been so peaceful here on Earth C in the past few years that every single one of Calliope’s instincts are in overdrive now, as she can’t remember the last time she had to face something like this without Roxy by her side.</p>
<p>John rises to the peak of the crater. Time for round 2 of taking this shit into your own hands.</p>
<p>
  <span class="john">JOHN: vriska? are you looking for fucking vriska again?!</span>
</p>
<p>Terezi breaks her gesture away from Calliope momentarily to point directly into the depths of one Mr John Egbert. Her ersatz gaze remains transfixed on the cherub.</p>
<p><span class="terezi">TEREZI: SHUT TH3 ***FUCK*** UP 3GB3RT</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: WH3R3 TH3 FUCK 1S SH3 C4LL13</span></p>
<p>Calliope’s mustered all she can manage in this exchange, the adrenaline surging through her prevents her from answering further, but she doesn’t need to, as Roxy swiftly moves to simultaneously comfort and stand guard between her and the advancing, bloody, potential threat.</p>
<p>
  <span class="roxy">ROXY: terezi idk wtf is goin on right now but if u want answers ur gonna have to start tellin us who ur even talkin about bc this shit is not cool</span>
</p>
<p>A serious tone is a rare one for Roxy, but it’s one she adopts without hesitation as she ripostes Terezi’s demands.</p>
<p><span class="terezi">TEREZI: L4LOND3</span><br/>
<span class="roxy">ROXY: yeah?</span></p>
<p>Terezi hunches her shoulders slightly as she lets out a short breath of frustration at Roxy’s acknowledgement of the name presented before them.</p>
<p>
  <span class="terezi">TEREZI: GOD<br/>
TEREZI: NOT YOU<br/>
TEREZI: TH3 OTH3R ONE</span>
</p>
<p>The clarification catches Roxy off guard, as the determination in her voice slips slightly.</p>
<p><span class="roxy">ROXY: what rose?</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: DUH</span><br/>
<span class="roxy">ROXY: what about her?</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: OH MY GOD<br/>
TEREZI: WH3R3 1S SH3?!</span><br/>
<span class="roxy">ROXY: uh, at home?<br/>
ROXY: why?</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: T4K3 M3 TH3R3</span></p>
<p>Terezi’s never exactly been one for pleasantries but this is something else entirely. She’d never been one to mince words in the past but given that most of the conversations the few remaining “gods” had had with her in the past had been shrouded in needless layers of esoteric fuckery and pranking, for her to be so blunt was extremely startling coming from the girl so many in the past had very aptly deemed “pointy”.</p>
<p>Roxy lets out a quick laugh of disbelief at Terezi’s demand.</p>
<p><span class="roxy">ROXY: ur gonna have to do a lot more explainin before we take u anywhere outta this park because i honestly dont think u realise how fucked this all is</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: OH 1 R34L1Z3 HOW FUCK3D TH1S 4LL IS B3L13V3 M3</span></p>
<p>Terezi moves her hand back towards John, snapping to the position she’d assumed previously.</p>
<p>
  <span class="terezi">TEREZI: OK 3GB3RT YOU T4K3 M3 TH3R3</span>
</p>
<p>John immediately switches his glance to Roxy, haphazardly looking for any kind of backup from his friend.</p>
<p>He doesn’t find any. Roxy’s as perturbed as he is, and he struggles to find any coherent words to answer what was most certainly NOT a question from Terezi.</p>
<p><span class="john">JOHN: i... what?...</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: YOUR3 GO1NG TO T4K3 M3 TH3R3 B3C4US3 1 TH1NK 1TS 4LL OF ***YOU*** WHO DONT R34L1Z3 HOW COMPL3T3LY TOT4LLY 4ND UTT3RLY B3YOND FUCK3D TH1S 1S</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The journey back to Rose and Kanaya’s apartment doesn’t take long, and neither did the decision to leave the park in the first place. As the sound of the sirens from all 3 emergency services grew louder and louder as Terezi’s demands grew more and more insistent, John decided that whatever was going to happen was much better off happening in the presence of trusted friends than with the unwelcome addition of more bureaucracy from whoever was about to turn up to stick their noses in to Terezi’s arrival.</p>
<p>With that decision, John quickly scooped up Terezi under her armpits and took flight out of the park, back the way he came this morning. Not the most dignified of exits, but easily the quickest. And mind you, Terezi wasn’t exactly the most dignified of girls. The old adage about beggars and choosers came to mind as John eyed up the wreckage of the jetpack Terezi arrived on, and quickly decided that this was probably the best option for getting the hell out of the park.</p>
<p>Roxy and Calliope followed suit as the group made their getaway, albeit with Roxy holding Calliope with significantly more grace than John and Terezi.</p>
<p>No sooner has John set the pair down down on the balcony he and Rose had conversed upon just this morning, Terezi makes a beeline for the doors to the apartment. Her approach is swiftly intercepted by John thrusting his arm between the troll and the door, speaking in hushed tones.</p>
<p><span class="john">JOHN: look, before we go in, just listen alright, just this once</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 R34LLY DONT KNOW HOW TO S4Y TH1S 4G41N<br/>
TEREZI: 1 DONT C4R3 WH4T YOU H4V3 TO S4Y JOHN</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: that’s fine no one does! it’s just rose is super ill at the moment, her and kanaya have been keeping pretty low-key, just... whatever’s happening just bare that in mind ok?</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: SH3S NOT 1LL SH3S 4SC3ND1NG TH3R3S 4 D1FF3R3NC3</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: uh, ok?<br/>
JOHN: she told you about that too?</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: OH MY GOD<br/>
TEREZI: YOU R34LLY 4R3 3X4CTLY TH3 FUCKING S4M3</span></p>
<p>With that, Terezi brushes John’s arm aside with a surprising strength that knocks him back a few steps on the balcony, his foot knocking a few plant pots as he suppresses a stumble. Upon the doors sliding open, a familiar breeze rolls into the apartment.</p>
<p>It’s eerily similar to one from a long-forgotten era, where one might expect to find such a breeze skimming the void keeping neighbours apart, as if grazing the hollow of a cut reed, or some other such poetic bullshit. But winds turn. They rise and fall as quickly as they are born. The smallest of winds influenced by a near infinite number of unrelated machinations amount to complete and utter tropical devastation in the wrong seasons. Something so homely, soothing and familiar can twist and distort into an unrelenting, unforgiving force of nature. The winds you felt at the turn of the previous decade have mutated into something brutal. The gust pushing you along your path has stirred and stirred until the pressure has built up to now. The storm’s here, John, you can’t ignore it any longer. You’re in the eye. The unseeing, scarlet eye.</p>
<p>What will you do?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Updates have been quite slow at the moment but chapter 5 should follow very shortly, hopefully in the next few days. It'll serve as a direct follow on to this chapter so don't worry, we'll find out exactly what Terezi's deal is very very soon.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. New Magic Wand</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Rose's shortcomings come to light, with another fully ascended Seer helping correct the path.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">The Homestuck Epilogues/0</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">Chapter 5 – New Magic Wand</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>Terezi crosses the threshold to the apartment, parting the thin mesh curtains as she enters to find the living room completely empty, with no signs of life save for the remnants of domesticity scattered around the room. A couple of used glasses, pill bottles discarded on top of coffee table magazines and the hum of the fridge from the kitchen at the end of the room are all slightly overshadowed by the sound of two voices coming from the next room over.</p><p>It’s hard to tell what’s being said, but Terezi’s acute auditory senses pick up on a dialogue taking place, and the sound of doors opening, with footsteps edging ever closer to the front room.</p><p>Roxy and Calliope land soon after John and Terezi but opt to remain outside on the balcony as not to interfere. In all their time on Earth C Roxy had never actually been to visit Rose and Kanaya’s apartment. Sure they had spoken quite a lot, even if their conversations had thinned in the more recent months, but with both Rose and Kanaya often working away from home, an opportunity for a proper sit down and catch up had never presented itself until now. After a few reassuring words from John, the pair remain outside, with all senses still tuned into the interior of the apartment should they be needed.</p><p>No sooner has John stepped foot back indoors, the doorway separating himself and Terezi from the rest of the apartment swings open, revealing Kanaya stood watching the pair, mouth agape. John moves to try and explain the situation, or what little he knows of it, but this proves as effective as it has done throughout the rest of today, not at all. The silence is broken by a shrill yelp from Kanaya, presumably a mixture of pure physical shock at seeing two intruders in her front room, and her body’s immediate way of processing the surprise of seeing a long presumed dead friend stood right before her very eyes.</p><p>Kanaya immediately drops the tray she was holding in the doorway and runs over to Terezi, arms outstretched for a long overdue embrace.</p><p><span class="kanaya">KANAYA: Terezi What On Earth Are You Doing Here We All Very Much Thought You Were Dead.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: NOP3 YOU C4NT G3T R1D OF M3 TH4T 34S1LY</span><br/>
<span class="kanaya">KANAYA: While I Am Most Certainly Beyond Thrilled To See You Once Again I Do Indeed Feel I Would Benefit From Some Kind Of Explication As To What The Fuck This Is All About.</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: hi kanaya</span></p><p>The hug is pretty much one sided with Kanaya holding Terezi as close as she can, sandwiching Terezi’s arms to her side, unable to give one back even if she wanted to. The vast majority of the affection here is definitely coming from the one that hasn’t been lost in the endless nether of paradox space for an infinite eternity.</p><p>John stands awkwardly as the two embrace, Kanaya understandably paying next to no attention to him. He shoots both a gaze and a shrug back to his friends on the balcony, their attention still laser focused on the troll reunion happening before them.</p><p>
  <span class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 N33D TO SP34K TO ROS3, 1TS TH3 E4S13ST W4Y</span>
</p><p>Kanaya softens her embrace, leaving both her hands on Terezi’s shoulder. She still stands a good head above Terezi, the height difference only accentuated by her touch on the smaller of the pair’s shoulders. Her whole demeanour softens as she moves, and addressess the trunkbeast in the room.</p><p><span class="kanaya">KANAYA: Rose Is... Rose Is Unwell At The Moment. And Has Been Quite Unwell For A While Now, In Fact. I Can See How She’s Feeling But I Wouldn’t Want To Impart Any Undue Stress Onto Her Right Now.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 N33D TO S33 H3R<br/>
TEREZI: TRUST M3 W3 BOTH N33D TO S33 34CH OTH3R R1GHT NOW</span><br/>
<span class="kanaya">Kanaya: Whatever For? What’s Been Happening? I Feel There Is An Awful Lot Of Information I Am Not Entirely Privy To Right Now.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 C4N H3LP H3R</span></p><p>The last statement catches Kanaya off guard, disarms her, and throws her for a loop all at once. It would be a lie to say that Kanaya’s thoughts had been on anything other than her wife for a good while now, and with Rose’s condition deteriorating more and more by the day, the times were few and far between when she wasn’t thinking about anything at all she could do to ease the suffering the love of her life was currently experiencing.</p><p>Kanaya takes a step back through the doorway, fumbling her hands, a jade flush shooting across her face as she struggles to find the words she needs.</p><p><span class="kanaya">KANAYA: I’ll.. I’ll Go See Rose Now. Um, Please, Take A Seat I’ll Be Back Shortly. You Too John.</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: hi!</span><br/>
<span class="kanaya">KANAYA: I’ll Go Get Her, Yes. Just Hang On, Please.</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: It’s fine, dear, I’m here.</span></p><p>Rose’s weak voice pipes up from behind Kanaya, still blocked by the larger troll stood in the doorway. Kanaya takes a step into the front room as the announcement from Rose startles her slightly. The adrenaline from the recent shock in the front room still coursing through her system, even the slightest thing is set to catch Kanaya off guard as she struggles to piece together what the fuck is happening.</p><p>Rose slowly moves forward into the front room, using a cane to balance as she graciously accepts her wife’s arm for support with her free hand. She’s dressed in an entirely ill fitting ensemble, with none of her usual makeup or jewellery adorning her outfit at she struggles to take more than a few steps forward. None of her usual porcelain decorum or demeanour is to be found, and she looks remarkably worse than even John remembers from just earlier this morning. What the hell had happened in the time he’d been gone? Had bringing Terezi of all people here been the right choice, John wonders?</p><p><span class="rose">ROSE: Terezi, have a seat, we can get started as soon as we’re all ready. You too, John.</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: started? are we all going to fight lord english?</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: You too, guys.</span></p><p>Rose looks towards the window where Calliope and Roxy are peering in, trying in vain to go unnoticed. With Rose’s summon, they sheepishly enter, and shoot a worried smile in the direction of Kanaya, who reciprocates. The small ensemble quickly finds seats in the front room, with Rose aided in her comfort by Kanaya, who is holding Rose’s clammy palms in her own in attempt to cool her down.</p><p><span class="terezi">TEREZI: HOW LONG H4V3 YOU KNOWN</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: Getting straight to the point, I see.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 DONT S33 WHY W3 SHOULDNT</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: And I don’t see why we should. I think starting a bit further back might be a bit more useful considering I imagine there are a lot of questions everyone has right now.</span><br/>
<span class="kanaya">KANAYA: That’s Certainly One Way Of Putting It.</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: And this of course impacts all of us more or less equally.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: W1LL 1T STOP 3GB3RT FROM 4SK1NG SO M4NY DUMB QU3ST1ONS?</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: hey!!</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: I think dumb is a bit harsh given that the majority of them would be warranted for full clarity of the situation, but yes it should minimise them.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: UGH. F1N3</span></p><p>A silence hangs over the room, all eyes now fixated on Rose, with John, Roxy, Callie and Kanaya turning their gazes away from Terezi for the first time since she re-entered their lives.</p><p><span class="rose">ROSE: John, earlier today I gave you a choice.</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: about fighting lord english?</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: Yes. You may not have realised it, but it was a choice. Whether to go and fight him or remain here.</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: well, i kind of assumed i had to at first, but after speaking with callie, yeah i guess i’m not really sure</span></p><p>Rose shoots a quick, warm smile at Calliope, and softly mouths the words thank you in her direction.</p><p><span class="rose">ROSE: And what choice did you make?</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: uhhhh well i haven’t really made one yet. the whole thing was sort of interrupted by terezi fucking crash landing in front of us</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: Y34H, 4ND YOUR3 FUCK1NG W3LCOM3 FOR TH4T</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: I’ve spent the better part of the last 7 years preparing for this, underhandedly making sure everything was in place as much as possible to allow you to make this choice. That conversation we had this morning about authentication of canon and all it comprises of, that all hinges on the choice you were about to make. Or at least I thought it did.</span></p><p>Rose switches her attention away from John and onto Terezi.</p><p><span class="terezi">TEREZI: Y34H NO SH1T YOU THOUGHT</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: Every detail, every possible outcome I could foresee had been taken into account building up to today. All the pieces in the right place, everything in motion to allow you to make this choice to authenticate this universe we’ve found ourselves in. And yet, I still couldn’t foresee this.</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: why not? i thought you were like... beyond god tier now. you mentioned about the barriers between every universe breaking down, you being able to see it all, why not this?</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: I have yet to actually complete my ascension. I’m getting close-</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: LOL</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: -but I suppose in my folly my limited state of ascension has rendered me blind to another near infinite number of outcomes. Terezi’s arrival being just one of them.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: Y34H 4ND TH4NK GOD 1M H3R3</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: And yet, somehow I’m still not surprised this is how it’s transpired. Humbled by my own hubris, one might say.</span></p><p>Rose forces out a weak smile as Roxy begins to interject.</p><p><span class="roxy">ROXY: woah okay, im following so far but what does terezi have to do with any of this? we can still all go fight lord english right?</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: It was never going to be all of us fighting him, just John. He’s the one among us powerful enough to allow the events to come to pass. But to answer that question, no, he cannot, the time has passed and no choice was made.</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: i literally didn’t even get chance, it’s not my fault!</span></p><p>Roxy places a hand on John’s thigh, as if to calm the stress bubbling within him. He’s right. A difficult decision can’t be made so quickly, and he’d barely even had time to consider it before Terezi’s impromptu arrival this morning, so blaming him for the current state of events is beyond unfair.</p><p><span class="rose">ROSE: You’re right, it’s not your fault at all, please don’t worry John. Your agency of choice was robbed by Terezi’s arrival.</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: well thanks terezi!!</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: YOUR3 W3LCOM3</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: so i take it we’re doomed then now, right? we’re gonna evaporate into non-canon because for some fucking reason i don’t think i understand, i can’t zap away to fight him and make all of this make sense!</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: You certainly could still use your abilities to rally a force strong enough to take down Lord English, but it wouldn’t serve any purpose now. At least not immediately. It would have no effect on authenticating canon in this universe.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: 1T N3V3R WOULD H4V3</span><br/>
<span class="kanaya">KANAYA: I’m Sorry?</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: 1T N3V3R WOULD H4V3 M4TT3R3D. ROS3 W4S S3ND1NG JOHN TO H1S D34TH</span><br/>
<span class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Beg Your Pardon But Are You Accusing My Wife Of Orchestrating The Demise Of One Of Our Dearest Friends?</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: OH 1 DONT TH1NK SH3 FULLY KN3W<br/>
TEREZI: SH3 W4S JUST B31NG A FUCK1NG 1D1OT</span><br/>
<span class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Don’t Know Which Is Worse</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: Kanaya, dear, it’s fine. I can see now she’s right.</span></p><p>John is trying to little avail to process what he’s hearing right now, the grip on his thigh from Roxy doing little to ease his worries.</p><p>
  <span class="john">JOHN: wait wait wait, if i’d gone to fight lord english, i was going to DIE?! and you KNEW THIS?!</span>
</p><p>Rose looks down at the floor, averting her gaze as she holds the palm of her wife.</p><p>
  <span class="rose">ROSE: I... I knew it was a possibility. But I also knew it was a risk we had to take to stop the worst from happening.</span>
</p><p>John knows part of what she’s saying is correct. Of course there was going to be a chance he’d fail on the mission and send Lord English further on his crash course of narrative destruction, but it sure doesn’t make it sting any less. He sucks it up and tries his best to get to the bottom of what this all means.</p><p><span class="john">JOHN: i thought lord english was the worst?</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: Unfortunately, not.</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: then why the fuck aren’t we focusing on whatever’s out there that’s worse than him?! you guys aren’t making any sense at all, when i was here this morning it was all lord english, and canon, and me being the only one to stop him in order to stop us all unravelling or some shit. now you’re telling me there’s WORSE than him?</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: I saw the defeat of Lord English as a necessary keystone to ensuring the worst does not come to fruition.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: Y34H 4ND YOU W3R3 WRONG</span></p><p>Terezi’s words linger in the air as Rose silently accepts her shortcomings.</p><p><span class="rose">ROSE: And I was wrong.</span><br/>
<span class="kanaya">KANAYA: Wrong How?</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: YOU GO1NG TO D3F34T LORD 3NGL1SH W4S N3V3R THE K3Y TO BR1NG1NG 4LL TH1S TOG3TH3R JOHN</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: then what was?</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: YOU 4R3</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: what??</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: 1T GR13V3S M3 TO S4Y 1T BUT TH15 WHOL3 TH1NG H1NG3S ON YOU 3GB3RT<br/>
TEREZI: W1THOUT YOU H3S FR33 TO JUST DO WH4T3V3R TH3 FUCK H3 W4NTS</span></p><p>John rises to his feet, arms outstretched as to shush everyone, trying to make sense of the situation.</p><p><span class="john">JOHN: everyone just wait. wait wait wait. let me get this straight. who’s free? I’M the one that’s meant to authenticate canon?</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: Y34H</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: and i’m guessing that’s due to some bullshit with my retcon powers?</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: Y34H</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: Whereas I believed that you defeating Lord English was the necessary component to allow us to enter a true state of canon, thus strengthening us all and preparing us for worse events, I believe what Terezi is saying is that it’s simply just your presence that allows us to enter that state.</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: what’s so dangerous out there that lord english doesn’t matter any more? why am i so important to stopping us from all melting or some shit?</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: Do you remember that deal you made with your denizen many years ago, back in the game?</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: yeah, i guess. where all the alternate versions of myself died, and i’m the only one left?</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: Exactly. The only real John. While there are an infinite number of universes out there-</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: NOT 1NF1N1T3</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: -with an infinite number of Johns-</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: NOT 1NF1N1T3</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: -the only one that matters is this one. The one with *you*.</span></p><p>Rose points a shaking finger at John as she speaks this last word, the gravity of what she’s saying not quite hitting home for him.</p><p><span class="terezi">TEREZI: YOU B31NG H3R3 M34NS W3R3 1N C4NON DUMB4SS. 1 STOPP3D YOU FROM FUCK1NG OFF TO D13 TH1S MORN1NG 4ND RU1N1NG 1T FOR 3V3RYON3<br/>
TEREZI: SO 4G41N<br/>
TEREZI: YOUR3 FUCK1NG W3LCOM3</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: how the fuck do you even know all this???</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: If I’m still managing to follow correctly, what Terezi is saying is that while I’m still on course to completing my ascension, we’re very fortunate to already have a fully ascended Seer on our side.</span><br/>
<span class="roxy">ROXY: holy shit ultimate terezi?</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: L1V3 4ND 1N P3RSON</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: That’s how she knew to be here. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m assuming that your scope of vision is much larger than mine. Metaphorically speaking, of course.</span></p><p>Rose catches herself. Ultimate Self or not, blindness still proves to be a very real disability.</p><p>
  <span class="rose">ROSE: And with that, you’ve seen what happens in the universes where John accepts my choice to fruitlessly try and authenticate canon.</span>
</p><p>Terezi pauses a second, her braggadocio and confidence dropping slightly as she speaks in a lower, more hushed tone than before, inviting everyone to hold their breath and listen intently.</p><p><span class="terezi">TEREZI: Y34H<br/>
TEREZI: Y34H 1V3 S33N 1T 4LL<br/>
TEREZI: TH3 ON3S WH3R3 JOHN ST34MROLLS LORD 3NGL1SH<br/>
TEREZI: TH3 ON3S WH3R3 JOHN G3TS ST34MROLL3D BY LORD 3NGL1SH<br/>
TEREZI: 3V3N TH3 ON3S WH3R3 3V3RYON3 CHURNS OUT DUMB L1TTL3 BAB13S 4ND FORG3TS TH3Y H4V3 4NYTH1NG TO DO 4T 4LL<br/>
TEREZI: 4ND 1N 3V3RY S1NGL3 ON3 OF TH3M H3 W1P3S YOU TH3 FUCK OUT</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: lord english? what??</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: 1TS NOT 3V3N CLOS3</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: who are you talking about right now?</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: H3 JUST FUCKS YOU UP 4ND YOU DONT 3V3N R34AL1S3. NON3 OF YOU DO</span><br/>
<span class="roxy">ROXY: who does?</span></p><p>Terezi shifts her focus towards Roxy, a look forming on her face that one might describe as akin to sympathy.</p><p>
  <span class="terezi">TEREZI: D1RK</span>
</p><p>Roxy lets out a quick snort, a derision of laughter as the name of her friend catches her off guard.</p><p><span class="kanaya">KANAYA: Excuse Me?</span><br/>
<span class="roxy">ROXY: lolwat? dirk wouldnt do that he doesnt even leave his house<br/>
ROXY: preeeetty sure he doesnt give a fuck about what any of us are doing<br/>
ROXY: nah he would never do that, youre wrong dude</span></p><p>Roxy’s protests at the behest of her friend are met with deaf ears as her fears begin to be confirmed.</p><p><span class="terezi">TEREZI: H3 WOULD</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: He would.</span><br/>
<span class="roxy">ROXY: wait you knew this??<br/>
ROXY: what the fuck would he do, dirks cool hes always been cool! theres no way</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: is dirk going to fucking murder me?!</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: 1F W3 G1V3 H1M 3NOUGH T1M3 TH3N Y34H</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: and yeah roxy’s right, you knew about this rose?</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: I had my suspicions. Even through my limited ascended scope of vision his influence is unmistakable.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: 4 G14NT T4NG3R1N3 SMUDG3 OV3R 4LL OF P4R4DOX SP4C3</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: when were you going to tell me about this?</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: Ideally, I wasn’t. I thought that by having you defeat Lord English and bringing us into a true canon it would foil some of the tools at his disposal. But of course, more recent events have led me to see that that would have just... provided a convenient way for him to dispose of you.</span></p><p>John’s mind is racing with a million thoughts a minute. Just this morning he was getting ready to go fight the hulking scourge of paradox space, and now he’s got to watch his back in case Dave’s bro sucker stabs him in his sleep? Tough deal John, you never really know who you can trust, do you.</p><p><span class="rose">ROSE: He’s ascending too. And you’re the only thing standing in his way between this universe being *his* canon, and him being in complete control.</span><br/>
<span class="roxy">ROXY: why the fuck would he want to do that? hes perfectly content just tinkering away in his workshop i dont think that dude wants to be in control of anything</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: I can’t answer that.</span><br/>
<span class="kanaya">KANAYA: Rose While I Am Always Absolutely Unequivocally On Your Side I Don’t Think Withholding Information At A Time Like This Is Good.</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: I can’t answer because I don’t know.</span></p><p>The revelation sits heavy in the room. Calliope hasn’t spoken a word since she entered the apartment, she just sits there looking just as shocked as the rest of them. John and Roxy share concerned glances trying to process what they’ve just heard. If it wasn’t for Rose confirming Terezi’s statements, they no doubt would disregard whatever she had to say, but hearing it from one of their most trusted friends really drove the point home. Had Dirk really been plotting to kill John and become a super villain in control of the whole world, if not more?</p><p><span class="terezi">TEREZI: TH4TS WHY 1M H3R3</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: to stop dirk from shanking me outside the grocery store?</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: PR3TTY MUCH &gt;:]</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: I doubt he’d choose such an egregious method.</span><br/>
<span class="roxy">ROXY: look we need to talk to dirk ok, hell listen to us, especially me and callie and we can sort this all out before anyone gets...</span></p><p>She motions a finger across her neck.</p><p><span class="rose">ROSE: Right.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: WHOS ST1LL H3R3 ON TH1S PL4N3T FROM B4CK 1N TH3 D4Y</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: Other than us gathered here... Dave and Karkat. Jade’s probably with them too.</span><br/>
<span class="roxy">ROXY: jake n janey too</span><br/>
<span class="kanaya">KANAYA: And Of Course Dirk</span></p><p>They’re all familiar names to John, but they’re nothing more than distant memories. All these friends he’d built this planet with, and the past however many years had been squandered, wasted away feeling sorry for himself. That’s no way for the literal most important person in canon to be spending their time, he thinks to himself. The enjoyment he felt at seeing Roxy this morning sits uneasy in his stomach. He still hasn’t eaten and he’s absolutely starving, so this whole new dump of information makes him feel incredibly ill. What was excitement at seeing old friends turns into anxiety, with thoughts of retreating back to his Dad’s old house filling his mind.</p><p>It would be so easy to just forget about all this, and turn away, back to being forgotten. Lock your doors and bolt the windows, no way Dirk’s getting inside to tear you apart that way, you’d be nice and safe from the big, scary outside world! It’s worked for the past 7 years so why would it stop now?</p><p><span class="rose">ROSE: I’ll call everyone together. The sooner we meet to discuss this the better.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: M4K3 SUR3 3V3RON3S TH3R3. 3V3RYON3 TH4T M4TT3RS</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: Right.</span><br/>
<span class="kanaya">KANAYA: I’ll Fetch Your Phone Rose Don’t Overexert Yourself.</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: Thank you, Kanaya.<br/>
ROSE: I love you.</span><br/>
<span class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Love You Too.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: GROSS</span></p><p>John feels the cool sweat start to bead at his temples as he catches Roxy’s glance. She’s almost as pale and shaken as him from the events of this morning, but she offers him a smile warmer than he deserves. She takes his hand as Calliope smiles at him from behind her, and speaks as the other trio begin to call everyone together.</p><p><span class="roxy">ROXY: its gonna be ok dude, well sort this all out</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: yeah. it’s a lot to take in</span><br/>
<span class="roxy">ROXY: ikr fuckin holy shit<br/>
ROXY: ultimate terezi?</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: yeah, everything</span></p><p>She places her other palm on top of his, making a hand sandwich with Egbert as the filling.</p><p><span class="roxy">ROXY: dirks not gonna kill you, this is all just some weird cosmic misunderstanding were too dumb enough to figure out lol</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: heh, i hope so. it’s just as fucked as this all seems i can’t help but feel that they’re telling the truth about it all</span><br/>
<span class="roxy">ROXY: i know what you mean like... why would they lie about any of this? but also wtf is dirk gonna do the guys a recluse</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: almost as much as me</span></p><p>Roxy nudges him with her shoulder, not letting go of his hands.</p><p><span class="roxy">ROXY: nah we got you out of the house today didnt we?</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: i guess</span><br/>
<span class="roxy">ROXY: ill tell u what, when all this is over well try that picnic again, just me n you. proper catchup time without worrying about this cosmic bullshit how does that sound?</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: that sounds... nice actually</span></p><p>It does sound nice! John confirms with the most sincere statement he’s said all day. When all this is over, when they’re safe and happy and not having to watch their backs in fear of surprise Strider attack every 5 seconds they can try picnic in the park, round 2.</p><p><span class="roxy">ROXY: its a date!</span><br/>
<span class="calliope">CALLIOPE: yay! n_n</span></p><p>Rose places her phone down on the table, speaking slightly louder as to catch everyone’s attention, although her weakened voice still amounts to little more than a whisper.</p><p><span class="rose">ROSE: Well, that’s everyone.</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: that was quick, how much did you tell them?</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: Not a lot. Nowhere near the discussion we’ve had here this morning. Just that it was urgent and we need to gather as soon as possible.</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: cool</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: Jane was already slightly clued in given that every news station on the planet is talking about what happened in the park this morning. We’re meeting at her office in 30 minutes along with everyone else.</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: ughhhh i hate those big office buildings she works in. does she live there too? i swear she never leaves</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: They’re safe and secure, just what we need right now.</span><br/>
<span class="kanaya">KANAYA: She’s Sending A Chauffeur Over To Pick Us Up So We Best Get Ready</span></p><p>30 minutes is more than enough time to line the stomach of a hungry canon keystone, so Kanaya leads John to the kitchen to fix him some food.</p><p><span class="roxy">ROXY: hey terezi before we go</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: Y34H?</span><br/>
<span class="roxy">ROXY: what makes this so different to all the other timelines youve seen?</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: WH4T DO YOU M34N?</span><br/>
<span class="roxy">ROXY: like if john gets fucked up in all of them, and dirk does... w/e it is hes trying to do</span><br/>
<span class="roxy">ROXY: what makes this any different?</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: TH3Y D1DNT H4V3 M3</span></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>LOTS of exposition in this one, we're getting into the real metaphysical shit right now. Let's see how this all pans out when the gang finally get to meet with Dirk. Hopefully he can get more than a few words out without Terezi ripping his head off.</p><p>Also pymparticles said JohnRoxy rights, the ship is not dead.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Distractions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>As far as distractions from work go, old friends falling out of the sky is certainly not what Jane Crocker expected.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">The Homestuck Epilogues/0</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">Chapter 6 – Distractions</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>How did it ever end up like this? Mountains. Mountains and mountains. Stacks upon stacks, piles upon piles of paperwork that Jane Crocker could make neither head nor tail of. Her desk swamped with official documents, tax forms, budget reforms and other such business documents related to her ever-growing corporate conglomerate. What kind of business was she in, I hear you ask? Legally speaking, the type of business Jane Crocker deals with is “none of yours” and to the populace of Earth C at large, CrockerCorp is entirely impenetrable. An ever-growing, nigh-omniscient empire that has its logo on more or less everything worth owning on this planet, what CrockerCorp actually does is just as much of a mystery to you and I as it is to everyone but Jane. It’s a business, and a fucking big one at that. Let’s just leave it there.</p>
<p>Jane sets her glasses down on a rare piece of desk space not swamped with paperwork, and pinches the bridge of her nose in a futile attempt to relieve some of the pressure building up there. She checks the clock. 15:28. Close to the end of the working day, but not close enough to warrant sacking off today’s outstanding tasks in favour of resuming them tomorrow with a fresh start. With that, she sighs, and rummages through the closest stack of municipal tax forms, or something to that nature.</p>
<p>The majority of the work Jane does is simply signing her life away. The much coveted Jane Crocker signature demanded more authority than anyone else on Earth C, and surely if the paperwork had it made it this far up the command chain to the CEO’s office it was worth signing, who cares?</p>
<p><span class="karkat">INTERCOM: Ms Crocker are you available?</span><br/>
<span class="jane">JANE: Hold on a sec.</span></p>
<p>The intercom built into her desk still buzzing with impatience as her PA awaits on the other end of the line, Jane moves to switch off the desk fan that has proved more than adequate at regulating her hot flushes during these stressful times, thus killing the background hum that could interfere with any incoming business calls.</p>
<p><span class="jane">JANE: Yes, what is it?</span><br/>
<span class="karkat">INTERCOM: We have Mr English here to see you, shall we send him up?</span><br/>
<span class="jane">JANE: Jake?</span><br/>
<span class="karkat">INTERCOM: Unless I’m mistaken, yes ma’am.</span></p>
<p>Today was NOT a day for Jake English. Today was a day for paperwork, filing and grafting, not dallying about with CrockerCorp’s newest “Brand Marketing Ambassador”. God, even the job title made her cringe. Appointing such a bombastic individual to the role had done wonders to the stocks, shares and other such finances associated with the business, but it had come at the cost of sacrificing approximately 30% of her office time to the dalliances of Jake English, as he spouted nonsense about his newest brand improvement plans.</p>
<p><span class="jane">JANE: Ugh, do we have him booked in today?</span><br/>
<span class="karkat">INTERCOM: No ma’am. He says it’s urgent though, or I wouldn’t have called you up.</span><br/>
<span class="jake">JAKE: hello jane!</span><br/>
<span class="jane">JANE: Oh he’s right there, huh.</span><br/>
<span class="karkat">INTERCOM: Yes ma’am.</span><br/>
<span class="jane">JANE: Well, send him up I guess.</span></p>
<p>Jane doesn’t wait for a reply as she presses the button to disconnect the intercom’s call. Some things in life are inevitable. Death (for the majority of the populace at least), taxes, and Jake English showing up to do whatever it is he’s going to do today, something useless no doubt. Jane sighs and switches the fan back on, taking a second to recompose herself, straighten out her blouse and fluff up her hair before Jake arrives at her office. Which was this entire floor, mind you.</p>
<p>Shortly after the intercom call ends, the familiar “ding” of an elevator arriving at its destination fills the office, and out fumbles Jake.</p>
<p>
  <span class="jane">JANE: Jake! To what do I owe the pleasure this afternoon?</span>
</p>
<p>Jane forces a smile as Jake briskly makes his way across the office huffing and puffing, phone in hand illuminating his shirt.</p>
<p><span class="jake">JAKE: i came as fast as i could, you must surely have heard by now though one would assume!</span><br/>
<span class="jane">JANE: Heard what? As you can see I’ve been quite the busy bee today, I haven’t had much time to even breathe never mind much else.</span><br/>
<span class="jake">JAKE: the news!</span></p>
<p>He’s struggling to catch his breath. Had he run here?</p>
<p>
  <span class="jane">JANE: Jake dear, slow down. What news? I haven’t heard a whisper all day. Take a seat and grab a drink from the cooler, pace yourself.</span>
</p>
<p>Jake passes his phone to Jane as he begins to fill a foam cup from the water dispenser next to the desk. As Jane takes it, she begins to scan the news article already loaded up ready and waiting. Her eyes are quickly drawn to the picture at the head of the article.</p>
<p><span class="jane">JANE: Oh my word, is that John? I will admit it’s been quite some time since I’ve seen him that I hardly recognised him!</span><br/>
<span class="jake">JAKE: yes, it certainly is john, but look closer!</span><br/>
<span class="jane">JANE: Oh, Roxy and Calliope too! What in the blazes is this?...</span><br/>
<span class="jake">JAKE: Other side!</span></p>
<p>Jane flicks her eyes to the other side of the picture, squinting without her glasses trying to make out what else the picture is showing. It’s a blurry picture, definitely not a professional job, taken from within a crowd with a few prominent figures at the forefront. Jane reaches for her glasses.</p>
<p><span class="jane">JANE: Is that...</span><br/>
<span class="jake">JAKE: yes.</span><br/>
<span class="jane">JANE: Terezi?</span><br/>
<span class="jake">JAKE: it would appear so.</span><br/>
<span class="jane">JANE: But she’s dead? She went off god knows where to look for that friend of hers Vriska, right?</span><br/>
<span class="jake">JAKE: well it would appear the contrary is true, and she is very much alive. caused quite a ruckus down at the carapacian park today and then fled the scene with our dear friends in the picture. i suspect they’re being searched for right now to get to the bottom of what the dick is happening right now.</span></p>
<p>Jane leans back from the phone and passes it back to Jake, resting her back on her plush chair, turning to face him.</p>
<p><span class="jake">JAKE: i tried calling you a few times but to no avail so i’m afraid i had no choice but to just barge in here like some kind of lunatic to get to you.</span><br/>
<span class="jane">JANE: No no it’s fine, don’t worry.</span><br/>
<span class="jake">JAKE: i just figured it might be best hearing it from me rather than from some other scant further down the pipeline.</span></p>
<p>Jane fishes through her drawer as Jake speaks in an attempt to find her personal phone. It’s been that long since she used it that it’s somehow worked its way quite far down amongst the stationery and office equipment stored in here, no wonder she didn’t hear it ring.</p>
<p><span class="jane">JANE: I do certainly appreciate it Jake, thank you ever so much.</span><br/>
<span class="jake">JAKE: not at all, i’m as flabbergasted as the rest of us since i thought for sure we’d seen the last of terezi, and for her to make an appearance such as this, plummeting into the park in the middle of the day! well it’s caused quite the ripples throughout the tabloids today let’s put it that way.</span></p>
<p>She reaches her phone and taps the screen, brightening it. Two missed calls from Jake listed 10 minutes ago, and... a missed call from Rose? When was the last time she spoke to Rose? Come to think of it, Jane didn’t even have the slightest of clues as to what Rose and Kanaya had been up to since their wedding a few years back.</p>
<p><span class="jane">JANE: When was the last time you spoke to Rose?</span><br/>
<span class="jake">JAKE: Oh gosh, errrr I should think probably their wedding a few years back, why do you ask? gods what a fucking grand time that was, do you remember wh-</span><br/>
<span class="jane">JANE: Just hold on a sec.</span></p>
<p>Jane hits the redial button next to her missed call notification, with Rose answering almost immediately as the dial tone connects. She speaks in such hushed tones that Jake can’t hear the other end of the conversation.</p>
<p><span class="jane">JANE: Hello Rose, you called?</span><br/>
<span class="jane">JANE: Right.</span><br/>
<span class="jane">JANE: She’s there with you?! My god what’s happening?</span></p>
<p>She shoots Jake a bewildered look, he doesn’t need to hear the other end of the conversation to know what’s happening.</p>
<p>
  <span class="jane">JANE: What’s going on?</span>
</p>
<p>She pauses for the briefest of moments as the bare minimum of what we saw earlier is explained down the phone for her to digest.</p>
<p>
  <span class="jane">JANE: Right. Well we can use my office here if you like.<br/>
JANE: Uh-huh. Sure.<br/>
JANE: Yes I’ll send someone over to collect you. How many?<br/>
JANE: Ok, I’ll let you contact them, do you want me to get in touch with Dirk?<br/>
JANE: Will do.<br/>
JANE: Right, ok. See you soon, take care.</span>
</p>
<p>She hangs up the phone wearing a startled expression that’s matched by Jake.</p>
<p><span class="jake">JAKE: what the flippant fuck is going on?</span><br/>
<span class="jane">JANE: I honestly have no clue. She said Terezi’s there with them, and we all need to meet?</span><br/>
<span class="jake">JAKE: i gathered that much, did she say why?</span><br/>
<span class="jane">JANE: No not at all, just that John is in danger? And I think Dirk too.</span><br/>
<span class="jake">JAKE: jeepers!</span><br/>
<span class="jane">JANE: I’ve got to give Dirk a call and check he’s ok, I said I’d tell him to get here as soon as he can. Jake would you be a dear and prep the boardroom table for us please?</span><br/>
<span class="jake">JAKE: certainly!</span></p>
<p>Jane picks up her personal phone once again and begins to dial Dirk’s number while Jake preps the correct number of seats. She hasn’t told him who’s coming so no doubt he’ll set places for far too many, but that’s fine, she just needs him out of the way so she can think.</p>
<p><span class="jane">JANE: Hello Dirk? Is everything ok?</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: Everything’s fine Jane, why do you ask?</span><br/>
<span class="jane">JANE: Have you seen what’s going on? On the news right now?</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: Kind of hard to avoid. But yes, I have.</span><br/>
<span class="jane">JANE: Everyone’s coming round to my office now, a meeting of some sorts, I said I’d get in touch with you.</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: Makes sense.</span><br/>
<span class="jane">JANE: Dirk is everything ok? Are you in danger?</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: Don’t worry about me Jane, I’m absolutely fine. I’m on my way over as we speak. I’ll see you soon.<br/>
DIRK: Oh, and thanks for calling, it’s good to hear from you.</span><br/>
<span class="jane">JANE: Oh, uh, you too, take care.</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: I’ll try.</span></p>
<p>And with that, he hangs up. Jane’s hand is shaking as she puts down her phone. Something feels wrong. Out of balance, almost. She hasn’t heard from any number of friends in many years, and now they’re quite literally falling out of the sky! Out of all the distractions she was wanting from her ever growing workload today, this is not one she had in mind.</p>
<p>
  <span class="jane">JANE: Why can’t I just knuckle down with all this paperwork...</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I wonder how this meeting will go down... Probably going to be pretty tense if you ask me.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. The Floor's Yours</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>All 12 gods gather to discuss the storm. Tensions flare, the stakes rise, and a lot of words are spoken, some more important than others.</p>
<p>Oh, and Karkat gets mad.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">The Homestuck Epilogues/0</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">Chapter 7 – The Floor’s Yours</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>One of the nearly infinite perks to being both a billionaire CEO and a literal God is that most means of transport are immediately at your disposal. Whether it be jets, yachts or top of the range chauffeurs, Jane Crocker had an arsenal of transportation at hand to take her from one meeting to the next, wherever it may take place on the planet she called hers. In a turn of events, the methods at her disposal were now being used to summon others to her office, only this time it wasn’t fellow corporate entities or marketing executives; it was the people she used to call her friends.</p>
<p>Saying she used to call them her friends is a bit unfair since they never actually fell out. “Drifted apart” is the phrase Jane would use, although the majority of her friends she founded this planet with would prefer the phrase “stopped answering our calls and buried herself in the money pit”, as Karkat once put it. Times change and people move on. Some rise to the top of the corporate ladder with relative ease, others hang onto the coattails of those who do, and some spend their well earned days of godhood being an unproductive NEET, stagnating away. To each their own, Jane supposes.</p>
<p>It didn’t come as a surprise to Jane who had accepted her invitation and who hadn’t. She’d known for a while that Rose was unwell (she did like to keep some tabs on those close to her) so the chauffeur was graciously accepted by her wife, and assumedly those it was bringing along. Dirk was already on his way when Jane called him, a wise move she thinks, given that she can’t think who else his first port of call would be when the sky starts falling. Jake was obviously already here, and it would be a cold day in hell before Karkat and his band of not-so-merry followers accepted any form of courtesy from anyone at all.</p>
<p>That being said, the Vantas, Harley, Strider trio are the first to arrive at Jane’s office given the close proximity of their mutually shared hive. Jade had hardly reached the bottom of the driveway before her phone began flooding with news alerts and text notifications, informing her of the day’s events down at the Carapacian park. She had raced back into Karkat’s hive to try and make sense of the situation only to find his programming rudely interrupted with an emergency news broadcast of the same story in its place, with Karkat wordlessly watching, hunched forward out of the relaxed, slobbish position he’d sat in when she left. The pair had watched the events unfold without a word being said between them. The silence spoke volumes. They watched, worried, and waited for someone to come and make sense of the whole situation that they were completely unprepared for. Unfortunately, the next person to present themselves to the duo was none other than Dave, who was also clued in on the day’s events.</p>
<p>
  <span class="dave">DAVE: dude what the fuck</span>
</p>
<p>Was all Dave could muster as he made his way to the couch to perch by his best friend, joining the pair in silence. A seemingly shell shocked Karkat watching the events on loop as they were repeated by the news station; UFO falling out of the sky, John and Roxy descending into the crater, and then the whole group flying out of the park with what was unmistakably Terezi in tow. The silence was only broken by Jade receiving a hushed phone call from Rose, and the group setting off on an awkward flight towards Jane’s tower. Karkat usually complained when travelling like this, but he remained stoic and silent while being scooped up by his friends.</p>
<p>The trend continued as they reached Jane’s floor from the main reception. Jade extended the usual pleasantries to both Jane and Jake, thanking them for their courtesy before seating herself beside Dave and the board table, who was in turn seated beside Karkat, leaving a pair of untouched polystyrene cups in front of them, warming by the second.</p>
<p>Karkat is an intense person. In every sense of the word. And I’m sure you absolutely don’t need me to tell you that. But where that intensity was usually fuelled by bravado, obnoxiousness and outright anger, the look he was boring into the table right now (and had been wearing ever since the news report) was more akin to spite. A cold, silent stare with all the intensity it usually had, only this time more reserved. Biding its time, growing.</p>
<p>It doesn’t take long for the rest of the room to fill up. John’s troupe is next to arrive, with the whole gang from this morning in tow. The same pleasantries are extended as one by one the group takes their places around the boardroom table, the catch up small talk between Dave and the rest of the group preventing the entire room from imploding into a singularity of awkward angst at the behest of Karkat, who is contently ignoring the arrival of Terezi, now seated at the opposite end of the table.</p>
<p>Dirk is the last to arrive. He enters the room, offers Jane a quick hug and soon finds the final seat reserved for him. The room falls silent as he walks to join the group, the potential threat he now apparently poses remaining unspoken as all eyes watch him take his seat.</p>
<p>John feels his heart race like never before, and having both Roxy and Jade on either side of him does nothing to ease this feeling that’s been building ever since Rose woke him up this morning. Less than an hour ago he received the news that in an infinite number of scenarios, his best friend’s brother tried every conceivable method to kill him, and now here he is, sat across a mahogany boardroom table from him, surrounded by people he now only vaguely knows.</p>
<p>To the relief of most everyone in the room, Rose is the one to finally break the tension that builds between such an incredibly dysfunctional group of people when forced to face each other under such circumstances. She rises to her feet, helped by both her cane and her wife, and tries her best to address the whole room.</p>
<p>
  <span class="rose">ROSE: Well, it would seem we’re all here and accounted for.<br/>
ROSE: And before we begin, I just want to say that bizarre circumstances aside, I am genuinely pleased to have us all here together. Thank you all for coming at my request.</span>
</p>
<p>She manages to force a weak, yet sincere smile as she speaks this last sentence.</p>
<p>
  <span class="rose">ROSE: I am anticipating a lot of questions from all of us today, most of all myself, and I figured that given the events that recently transpired, the best thing we can do to deal with that is to have us all here together, to work through whatever they may be. So again, thank you all for meeting here today.<br/>
ROSE: Given the velocity at which events have come to pass, I imagine we’re all pretty shocked right now, but again I just want to assure everyone, this is a safe and trusting space for all of us here, I hope we can all agree on that.</span>
</p>
<p>Rose pauses to take a sip of the water Kanaya has passed to her, her last sentence ringing hollow in John’s ears.</p>
<p>How the fuck was this supposed to be a safe and trusting space for him? He’d been safe for the past few years living his own life far away from any of this, and now being face to face with the man he’s been constantly reassured is orchestrating his death makes John feel anything but safe. His gaze hasn’t left Dirk since he entered the office, and he is not made to feel any more at ease by the fact he’s pretty sure Dirk hasn’t bothered to glance once in his direction, even through his thick, layered shades.</p>
<p>
  <span class="rose">ROSE: I have an idea of how clued in most of you are to the situation, but I’ll let Terezi start, since it probably comes as no surprise she has the most to say that we all want to hear right now.<br/>
ROSE: Terezi, the floor’s yours.</span>
</p>
<p>Rose graciously returns to her seat, swapping postures with Terezi who stands a good head above everyone else at the table, demanding their attention before she speaks even a word.</p>
<p>
  <span class="terezi">TEREZI: SO Y34H<br/>
TEREZI: 1M B4CK<br/>
TEREZI: ...<br/>
TEREZI: 1TS B33N 4 WH1L3 4ND 1 D1DNT KNOW 1F 1D 3V3R B3 B4CK<br/>
TEREZI: BUT 1 4M. SO TH4TS TH4T</span>
</p>
<p>She pauses momentarily, her 11 contemporaries waiting with bated breath for something significantly more substantial than the intro she’s just given.</p>
<p>
  <span class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 M34N 1T WH3N 1 S4Y W3 4BSOLUT3LY DONT H4V3 T1M3 TO CH4T 4BOUT WH3R3 1V3 B33N OR WH4T 1V3 B33N DO1NG BUT 1T DO3SNT M4TT3R 4T 4LL<br/>
TEREZI: WH4T M4TT3RS 1S TH4T 1M B4CK<br/>
TEREZI: B3C4US3 TH1NGS 4R3 S1GN1F1C4NTLY MOR3 FUCK3D TH4N 4NY OF YOU R34L1SE<br/>
TEREZI: BOTH H3R3 4ND OUT TH3R3<br/>
TEREZI: FUCK3D TO TH3 PO1NT WH3R3 1F 1 D1DNT COM3 B4CK TH3R3S 4 GOOD CH4NC3 NON3 OF YOU WOULD 3V3N B3 H3R3</span>
</p>
<p>Karkat forces out a snort of derision as Terezi finishes her statement, one that she elects to ignore.</p>
<p>
  <span class="terezi">TEREZI: 4ND 1M H3R3 B3C4US3 W3 N33D TO K1LL D1RK STR1D3R</span>
</p>
<p>That’s all it takes to break the uneasy trust in the room, with a cavalcade of voices soon rising from silence to drown each other out.</p>
<p><span class="rose">ROSE: That’s absolutely not true.</span><br/>
<span class="jane">JANE: Excuse me?!</span><br/>
<span class="jake">JAKE: what jane said</span><br/>
<span class="jade">JADE: dirk?!</span><br/>
<span class="dave">DAVE: the fuck</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: i don’t really get it either dude</span><br/>
<span class="roxy">ROXY: GUYS!!!!!!!!</span></p>
<p>Roxy joins the frenzy with a yell that soon sends everyone back to their seat.</p>
<p>
  <span class="roxy">ROXY: guys!<br/>
ROXY: gettin rid of dirk is absolutely not what were doing ok?<br/>
ROXY: terezi just start from the beginning n catch us all up ok? whatever u told us this morning just go over it again so we all have a clue wtf ur talking about</span>
</p>
<p>All eyes in the room are focused on Dirk, who sits nonchalantly as Terezi begins her explanation previously delivered in Rose and Kanaya’s apartment. The shit she’s seen out there in the remnants of paradox space, the near infinite universes of turmoil and grief all brought about at the hand of one of their contemporaries sat in this very room, and the danger his very existence presents to John, their mutual anchor to canon, relevance and existence itself.</p>
<p>He takes the news surprisingly well, barely batting an eyelid behind his shades, never mind remaining as stoic and silent as ever as news of his apparent scheming is laid bare for all to see.</p>
<p>Terezi reaches the end of her explanation, the whole room sat in utmost silence paying her their undivided attention as she explains ascension, canon and powers way beyond what any of them had ever previously considered possible. It takes more than a while to sink in, with the expectation of a rebuttal reply from Dirk to break the silence hopefully coming any second now, though he isn’t the one to speak up.</p>
<p>
  <span class="dave">DAVE: bro<br/>
DAVE: this is all bullshit right? like what terezis saying<br/>
DAVE: about john and you being all. fucked and shit</span>
</p>
<p>He speaks leaning forward in his chair, almost as if to whisper to Dirk and impart words meant only for the pair of them, completely oblivious to the rest of the room listening in.</p>
<p><span class="rose">ROSE: It’s not bullshit, Dave. What Terezi’s saying is correct, I’ve seen it myself too. Or parts of it, at least.</span><br/>
<span class="dave">DAVE: ok rose normally im more than glad for your insight into matters concerning pretty much anything and everything but im just asking dirk right now<br/>
DAVE: dude cmon tell us this is all wrong, youd never do some shit like this</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: ...<br/>
DIRK: You’re both right.</span><br/>
<span class="dave">DAVE: ugh man why you gotta be like this</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: Bro, you’re absolutely correct, I would never do something like this. Not me personally anyway. John, relax, you’re in no danger here.<br/>
DIRK: But Rose and Terezi are also correct. I would do this.</span><br/>
<span class="dave">DAVE: ok i know you never usually make much sense behind all those layers of esoterica but this is a whole new level of bullshit man</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: Not me as in the me sat before you right now, but another me. A me that’s left completely unchecked to ascend far beyond the scope of even my wildest dreams, which I assure you are fucking ludicrous.</span><br/>
<span class="jade">JADE: ascend? what’s all this talk about ascending?</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: We’re Gods.</span><br/>
<span class="dave">DAVE: yeah like literally and figuratively we know</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: For a while it came as a natural thought process that that was the final stage of our powers.</span><br/>
<span class="dave">DAVE: the ones we all got from sburb?</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: Yes.<br/>
DIRK: But that isn’t the end state. Not for us at least.<br/>
DIRK: Mastery over ourselves comes first, which is a stage we all comfortably reached when we achieved god tier. Or at least most of us did, anyway.</span><br/>
<span class="kanaya">KANAYA: Hmm.</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: Following that, there’s a slow decay between what makes us us, and what makes our other selves, well, our other selves. We begin to see past the rudimentary barriers separating us from us. The splinters begin to reform and we can see every possible outcome across every possible life choice laid out before us.<br/>
DIRK: A version of me who managed to piece together those fractures, who managed to carve and set in stone an idealistic Dirk capable of most anything? Well if we’re being honest and open here, that scares the living fuck out of me.</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: To add onto Dirk’s exposition right here, that is currently the reason behind my condition. The toll such a rapid expanse of consciousness takes is... detrimental to both one’s physical and mental health. Mind crushingly so.</span></p>
<p>Kanaya once again focuses her grip onto her wife sat before her, doing all she can to offer Rose comfort despite her knowledge that nothing she can do matters in the slightest to ease her condition.</p>
<p><span class="rose">ROSE: Terezi has already completed her ascension. Somewhere, sometime out there in paradox space.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: Y34H WH3N 1 S4Y 1V3 S33N 1T 4LL 1 QU1T3 L1T3R4LLY M34N 4LL OF 1T<br/>
TEREZI: 4ND TH3R3S 4BSOLUT3LY NO W4Y 1N TH1S UN1V3RS3 OR 4NY TH4T TH1S TW1NK COMPL3T1NG H1S 4SC3NS1ON 3NDS W3LL FOR ANYON3</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: Well, I absolutely agree.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: G1V3N TH3 CH4NC3 TO G3T R1D OF JOHN 4ND B3COM3 TH3 4NCHOR PO1NT THROUGH WH1CH 4LL OF C4NON H1NG3S UPON H3 W1LL. H3 DO3S<br/>
TEREZI: 3V3RY FUCK1NG T1M3</span></p>
<p>John swallows hard, still incredibly uneasy at the rate his name is being mentioned in a conversation that frankly he has absolutely zero business being involved in.</p>
<p><span class="dirk">DIRK: I know.</span><br/>
<span class="dave">DAVE: you know youre gonna kill john given the chance?</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: I saw it as an inevitability.</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: then why the fuck am i supposed to take your word that i’m in no danger? what the actual fuck does ANY of this mean???</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: You’re in no danger because in order to avoid such an inevitable trajectory – which might I remind you absolutely fucking terrified me – I rejected my ascension.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: OH TH4TS 4 COMPL3T3 LO4D OF SH1T</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: It’s true.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: TH1S WHOL3 FUCK1NG PL4N3T R33KS OF YOU<br/>
TEREZI: 1TS 3V3RYWH3R3<br/>
TEREZI: JUST FUCK1NG OR4NG3 SM34R3D 4LL OV3R TH3 W4LLS IT M4K3S M3 S1CK<br/>
TEREZI: HOW TH3 FUCK 3LS3 DO YOU TH1NK 1 FOUND YOU 4LL 1N TH3 F1RST PL4CE???<br/>
TEREZI: 1 FOLLOW3D TH3 OR4NG3 SH1T SM34R THROUGHOUT 1NF1N1TY AND BOOM H3R3 TH3 FUCK 1 4M</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: I have no doubt that’s exactly what you did.</span></p>
<p>Rose thinks for a second, brow furrowed in relation to what Terezi has just said.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: Hmm.</span><br/>
<span class="kanaya">KANAYA: Hmm?</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: Hmm.</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: Terezi, if what you’re saying is correct then a hypothetically ascended Dirk’s influence has left an unmistakable smear across every single instance of our infinite potential realities.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: NOT 1NF1N1T3 BUT Y34H</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: So I suppose it wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility that an ascended Dirk’s influence stretches to here as well. The lingering influence being that the inevitability of ending up like that scared Dirk into rejecting his ascension and choosing to live life as normal.</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: Mm-hmm. The one thing that has ever frightened me beyond not existing at all, is existing in a state like the ones I began to see.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: H3S FUCK1NG LY1NG YOU C4NT R3J3CT 4SCENS1ON 1T L1T3R4LLY JUST H4PP3NS</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: Did you try?</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: OF COURS3 1 D1D 1T FUCK1NG TOR3 M3 4P4RT FROM TH3 1NS1D3 OUT<br/>
TEREZI: YOU TH1NK 1 W4NT3D TO B3 “BL3SS3D” W1TH FUCK1NG OMN1POT3NC3 4ND H4V3 TO COM3 B4CK H3R3 TO S4V3 YOUR SORRY 4SS3S?<br/>
TEREZI: H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4</span></p>
<p>She breaks her intensity at the table with a fit of uproarious laughter at the mere suggestion she could have simply hit a metaphorical snooze button on the dissolution of everything she considered to be herself and merging with a nigh infinite number of potential outcomes across a nigh infinite number of potential realities. Her laughter does not last long before everyone’s attention is quickly snatched away by the sound of a chair scraping, and two fists slamming down hard on the boardroom table.</p>
<p>
  <span class="karkat">KARKAT: OH FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE JUST QUIT SPEWING SUCH ABSOLUTE FUCKING *SHIT*.<br/>
KARKAT: ALL OF YOU JUST QUIT IT WITH THE FUCKING ENDLESS, DEAFENING STREAM OF SHIT.</span>
</p>
<p>Terezi’s laughter continues into a giggle, mainly fuelled by the sheer audacity of Karkat of all people being the one to now lecture her on matters he probably can’t even spell.</p>
<p><span class="terezi">TEREZI: OH 3XCUS3 M3?</span><br/>
<span class="karkat">KARKAT: YEAH YOU HEARD ME, YOU ALL FUCKING HEARD ME.<br/>
KARKAT: WHY ARE LITERALLY ANY OF YOU TAKING THIS SHIT? WHAT TEREZI JUST TURNS UP OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE AND STARTS SPOUTING NONSENSE ABOUT THIS FUCKER DIRK WHO – MIGHT I ADD – PRACTICALLY NONE OF US ACTUALLY EVEN REALLY KNOW, AND WE’RE ALL JUST TAKING THAT AS FACT?<br/>
KARKAT: SHE’S FUCKING DEMENTED! SHE’S BEEN OUT THERE CIRCLING AROUND IN SPACE LOOKING FOR VRISKA FOR FUCK KNOWS HOW LONG AND HER BRAIN’S TURNED TO FUCKING SOUP INSIDE HER SKULL.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4</span><br/>
<span class="karkat">KARKAT: I MEAN JUST LISTEN TO HER!! IT’S ALL FUCKING STUPID AND YOU’RE ALL EVEN MORE FUCKING STUPID FOR LISTENING TO HER IN THE FIRST PLACE.</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: Karkat, she’s not lyi-</span><br/>
<span class="karkat">KARKAT: OH, EXCUSE ME IF I’M NOT EXACTLY TOO KEEN ON TAKING ADVICE FROM EARTH-C’S PRIME CORTICOSTEROID ABUSER RIGHT NOW.</span></p>
<p>Kanaya shoots Karkat an exasperated look at this comment, eyebrow raised in a manner replacing any words she needs to speak. He pays absolutely zero attention.</p>
<p><span class="karkat">KARKAT: SO WHY DON’T YOU ENLIGHTEN US TEREZI? ENLIGHTEN ALL OF US WOE-BEGOTTEN SUBJECTS WITH YOUR NEWFOUND PIETY AND HAVE US GROVEL AT YOUR FEET AS THE SAVIOUR OF OUR WORLD.<br/>
KARKAT: HELP US GET ONTO THE SAME LEVEL AS YOU OH MIGHTY ONE, BLESS US WITH FACTS OUR PUNY BRAINS CAN’T EVEN BEGIN TO DREAM OF, ENLIGHTEN US OH GLORIOUS ONE.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: H4H4H4 YOUR3 JOK1NG BUT 1 COULD L1T3R4LLY DO TH4T<br/>
TEREZI: 1T WOULD K1LL YOU 1NST4NTLY THOUGH &gt;:/</span><br/>
<span class="karkat">KARKAT: SO FUCKING DO IT??<br/>
KARKAT: DO IT IF YOU’RE SO HIGH AND FUCKING MIGHTY.<br/>
KARKAT: OR ACTUALLY, BETTER YET, HOW ABOUT YOU FUCK OFF AND DIE LIKE YOU WERE MEANT TO THREE YEARS AGO?</span><br/>
<span class="dave">DAVE: dude...</span><br/>
<span class="karkat">KARKAT: CAN IT STRIDER, I DIDN’T COME HERE FOR THIS SHIT. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY I CAME HERE AT ALL. NEXT TIME YOU ALL HAVE SOME BULLSHIT TO GO OVER LEAVE ME THE FUCK OUT OF IT.</span></p>
<p>Karkat pushes his chair further back, the scraping sound continuing until the seat loses its momentum and topples over backwards, leaving a clear exit between himself and the door to the elevator, one that he quickly covers in an attempt to distance himself from the events unfolding in Jane’s office.</p>
<p>Terezi’s laughter continues as Karkat huffs over to the elevator and waits awkwardly for the lift to arrive back at their floor, the rest of the group sitting in awkward silence as the lift hums until it arrives.</p>
<p>
  <span class="terezi">TEREZI: OH GOD H3S 3X4CTLY TH3 S4M3 WH4T H4V3 YOU B33N DO1NG TO H1M D4V3</span>
</p>
<p>Jade shoots Dave a worried look, and he responds in turn with an equally worried shrug, which gives off an oddly specific aura of “I don’t know, what do you want me to do about it?”. She stands up, pushing her own chair behind her and running off to the lift as Karkat enters, managing to squeeze between the doors as they shut, much to the dismay of Karkat, leaving 10 flustered Gods sat around the boardroom table.</p>
<p><span class="dave">DAVE: well i think its fair to say things got a little heated there</span><br/>
<span class="kanaya">KANAYA: And I Think It’s Fair To Say That’s Reasonable.</span><br/>
<span class="dave">DAVE: sooooooo in a vain attempt to steer things at least somewhat back on track...</span></p>
<p>He performs a motion with his hands that’s somewhere between mimicking a steering wheel and a turntable scratch.</p>
<p><span class="dave">DAVE: ...i’m just gonna say that terezi while were obviously absolutely thrilled youre back here with us and we have of course missed you dearly<br/>
DAVE: you do see why were all thinking this is just total bullshit right now right?<br/>
DAVE: i mean not that i think karkat ever talks a lot of sense but...<br/>
DAVE: he was kinda talking some sense back there, you understand that right?</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: TH3 FUCK?</span><br/>
<span class="dave">DAVE: ok so its like... youre gone for a LONG time without even a hint or a trace of where you are and then this?<br/>
DAVE: no offence but i see some troll down on the street shouting shit about the end of the world and psycho murderers coming after my best friends and i gotta tell you i am crossing that street</span><br/>
<span class="dave">DAVE: getting as far away from that as i can<br/>
DAVE: i got no business with the crazies you feel me?<br/>
DAVE: which is why i’m saying-</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: UGH 1M NOT CR4ZY 1M MOR3 S4N3 TH4N 1V3 3V3R B33N B3FOR3 1N MY L1F3</span><br/>
<span class="dave">DAVE: ok so im just rolling with what youre saying right now because quite frankly youre scaring me more than a little so...<br/>
DAVE: what is it you want us to do about... this<br/>
DAVE: besides just fucking killing dirk i mean<br/>
DAVE: dont worry i got you bro</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: Thanks.</span></p>
<p>Rose remains in her seat as she begins to speak, her simultaneously decaying and ever-expanding consciousness working overtime to provide a solution to the heated situation before them.</p>
<p><span class="rose">ROSE: I have the utmost belief in that what Terezi’s saying here is true. I think both Dirk and I agree there’s no falsities in her claims, especially having seen at least parts of them for ourselves.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: F1N4LLY TH4NK YOU</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: But.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: UGH</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: I also have absolute certainty that what Dirk is saying is also true. In that he poses no threat to John, himself, or any of us here.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: UGHHHHH</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: Terezi, we aren’t killing Dirk. That’s that.</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: That’s certainly reassuring.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: 1TS DUMB 1S WH4T 1T 1S</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: But Terezi, we’re not taking what you’re saying lightly. In fact I don’t think there’s any matter more pressing than that which we’re facing right now.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: &gt;:?</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: I propose a plan.</span></p>
<p>Great, another plan. This was the second time today that John was hearing one of Rose’s well thought out plans, and that last one about fighting Lord English went soooo well. He sighs resignedly and slumps in his seat ever so slightly, yet just enough to catch the attention of Roxy, who shoots him a supportive glance and smile, still focusing on Rose’s new proposal.</p>
<p><span class="rose">ROSE: We need to get to the bottom of this. Figure out what this is all about, and what this means for us.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: W3 KNOW WH4T 1T M34NS 1V3 L1T3R4LLY JUST B33N T3LL1NG YOU 4LL</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: Agreed?</span><br/>
<span class="dave">DAVE: agreed</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: yeah...</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: UGHHH</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: For now, we need to think. Make sure everyone’s as safe and as comfortable as we can be. Both from each other, and ourselves, does that make sense?</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: what? i thought i wasn’t in any danger!</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: I wasn’t referring to you, John.</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: oh...</span></p>
<p>He shoots a sheepish look towards Terezi and Dirk, their vacant, shrouded stares still somehow meeting each other.</p>
<p><span class="rose">ROSE: There’s a lot to process, and a lot to put in motion.<br/>
ROSE: For now, I think it’s best if we-</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: I’ve got it Rose.</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: Huh?</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: Don’t wear yourself out, you sound absolutely exhausted, and I’m not surprised.</span></p>
<p>Dirk stands to his feet for the first time since seating himself this afternoon.</p>
<p><span class="dirk">DIRK: I understand there’s a lot of distrust right now.<br/>
DIRK: If I’m being honest, about 95% of it being aimed at me. Understandably so.<br/>
DIRK: After all I did literally just refer to my hypothetical murder of John as inevitable.</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: can we just...</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: And I understand there’s absolutely jack dick to do right now to convince you otherwise. Or more specifically convince Terezi otherwise.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: TH4TS CORR3CT</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: So, what I can do until we find a way to prove that, is to submit myself to a voluntary house arrest.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: OH TH4TS JUST P3RF3CT</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: I stay here under Jane and Crockercorp’s watchful eye, my every move monitored closely to ensure any potential unpleasantries are minimised. Assuming that’s ok with Jane, of course.</span><br/>
<span class="jane">JANE: Um, why of course.</span></p>
<p>Jane is pallid, nervous and sweaty under the office lights shining onto them, the beads of sweat streaking through her thick makeup.</p>
<p>
  <span class="dirk">DIRK: That should provide some level of comfort to you all.</span>
</p>
<p>He gestures towards John as he speaks.</p>
<p><span class="dirk">DIRK: That way, until we can find a way to prove I’ve rejected my ascension, and separated myself from any and all existing undue influence I may have had beyond our scope of vision, we can rest assured that I’ll be kept under close wraps.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: OH PL34S3 L1K3 TH4TLL STOP YOU</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: If you have a more palatable suggestion I’m all open to it, Terezi.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 S41D L1K3 TH4TLL STOP YOU</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: W3 BOTH KNOW YOU C4N DO WH4T3V3R YOU W4NT FROM WH3R3V3R YOU W4NT 4ND B31NG STUCK H3R3 DO3SNT PR3V3NT YOU FROM HO1ST1NG TH3 4NCHOR OF C4NON 4W4Y 4ND S41L1NG OFF 1NTO TH3 SUNS3T W1TH HMS N4RR4T1V3</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: hoisting me?...</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: As I said, I doubt there’s much I can do right now to convince you otherwise, I doubt it’ll be an immediate action we can take right now to achieve that. It’s something we need to work on together.</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: Until then, limiting my influence in deciding any of the events about to unfold should prove evidence enough for you that my hand is well and truly out of the cookie jar, metaphysically speaking.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: W3LL DUH TH4TS JUST WH4T YOU W4NT US 4LL TO TH1NK<br/>
TEREZI: L1K3 1 S41D ONC3 YOUR3 4SC3ND3D YOU C4N DO WH4T3V3R FROM WH3R3V3R</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: But I’m not ascended.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 C4N SM3LL 1T YOU 4R3 TOT4LLY 4SC3ND3D</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: I’m not.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: Y3S YOU 4R3</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: I can assur-</span><br/>
<span class="dave">DAVE: jesus fucking christ children<br/>
DAVE: we get it alright youre at an impasse oh my god<br/>
DAVE: terezi – dirk is not ascended. he cant do the weird fuck shit mind control youre talking about<br/>
DAVE: dirk – i believe you but we have literally no way of disproving that now. i dont know how were gonna disprove it but we are.</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: Understandable.</span><br/>
<span class="dave">DAVE: in the meantime, we gotta figure this out like the hopeless, dysfunctional band of adults we are, not babies<br/>
DAVE: unless of course you wanna duke it out like babies<br/>
DAVE: kanaya do the babies in the brooding caverns ever duke it out?</span><br/>
<span class="kanaya">KANAYA: No.</span><br/>
<span class="dave">DAVE: like some kind of slimy wriggly fight club type scenario</span><br/>
<span class="kanaya">KANAYA: No.</span><br/>
<span class="dave">DAVE: ok i guess baby duking is off the board and were dealing with it like adults</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: TH1S SUCKS</span><br/>
<span class="dave">DAVE: i agree it categorically and undeniably both sucks and blows but for now im just going all in on dirks suggestion of letting him stay here until one of us comes up with something. because looking around the room right now im seeing a whole lot of fuck all when it comes to the suggestions pot.</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: Thank you.</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: Dirk are you sure you’re ok with this arrangement?</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: Of course. I wouldn’t have suggested it otherwise. Besides, I had a feeling it might come to this, so it wasn’t completely out of the blue.</span><br/>
<span class="dave">DAVE: ok starting to feel a little uneasy about backing you up so quickly</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: If it makes literally anyone else feel any better, then I’m happy to surrender myself here. For the time being of course.</span><br/>
<span class="dave">DAVE: damn. a hapless thrall locked in the tower of the evil batterwitch, waiting on his gallant friends to come save him</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: But of course.</span></p>
<p>Jane winces at the usage of the phrase Batterwitch. She’s well aware it’s in jest, having become accustomed to the sarcastic title over the past few years, but still.</p>
<p><span class="jane">JANE: Dirk, you’re more than welcome to make full use of all our facilities here. I am of course hoping it won’t be long before we figure something out to resolve this whole mess but until then, make yourself at home.</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: I hope it won’t be long at all either, we can begin work on developing a solution as soon as-</span><br/>
<span class="kanaya">KANAYA: As Soon As You’ve Come Home And Rested.</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: ...</span><br/>
<span class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Know You Must Always Work Yourself So Tirelessly But You’re Going To Kill Yourself If You Continue For Much Longer.<br/>
KANAYA: Which As Far As I’m Concerned Is A Whole Lot Worse Than Any Of The Nonsense We’ve Discussed Here Today.</span><br/>
<span class="john">JOHN: uh...</span><br/>
<span class="kanaya">KANAYA: Where Would Any Of Us Be Without You.</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: Kanaya’s right. Get some rest, Rose. I highly doubt we’re going to be able to make sense of this mess without you.</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: Right.<br/>
ROSE: Is that all for today?</span></p>
<p>The room hangs in an uneasy silence that sweeps across the table. As far as birthday’s go, news of your paradoxically inescapable murder, a dead friend crashing face first into your life, and another friend submitting themselves to indefinite house arrest made for an undeniably shitty one, John thinks.</p>
<p><span class="jane">JANE: Right well, I suggest for now we all return home. E-except for Dirk of course. We can meet here as soon as we have something to discuss further on the matter. Shall we say 2 days from now?<br/>
JANE: That should provide ample time to rest and collate our thoughts into something we can put into action.</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: OK BUT 1 L1T3R4LLY DONT H4V3 4 HOM3</span><br/>
<span class="jake">JAKE: gosh! well i suppose you cant exactly stay here with dirk given that i doubt its beyond my realm of confidence to assume that would devolve into fisticuffs before one could say “paradoxical canonical metaphysics”</span><br/>
<span class="jane">JANE: Right...</span><br/>
<span class="dave">DAVE: ...<br/>
DAVE: ugh why the fuck am i even suggesting this<br/>
DAVE: terezi follow me, i have an idea<br/>
DAVE: i got this guys<br/>
DAVE: everyones getting a roof over their heads tonight. jade’s got free condos all over the place and im sure shell be more than fine lending one out to you.<br/>
DAVE: probably a good idea to actually check in with her first... and uh... well shes not answering her phone as im trying to call right now which means shes probably still with karkat</span><br/>
<span class="dave">DAVE: so what im saying is i gotta go find the pair of them</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: OK SO L3TS GO</span><br/>
<span class="dave">DAVE: god ok i know you were never the best at the whole “reading the room” scenario but i really think its best if i speak with the pair of them... alone</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: WHYS TH4T</span><br/>
<span class="dave">DAVE: oh nothing just on account of the whole im pretty sure karkats gonna rip your face off if he has to see you right now situation</span><br/>
<span class="terezi">TEREZI: W3LL H3 C4N TRY FOR 4LL 1 C4R3</span><br/>
<span class="dave">DAVE: ...</span><br/>
<span class="dave">DAVE: you know what fuck it lets just go</span></p>
<p>Dave motions a swift goodbye to the table, making his way towards the elevator at the end of the room, phone still in hand and Terezi in tow.</p>
<p><span class="rose">ROSE: I suppose Kanaya and I should return now too, it is late, and as much as it grieves me to say, I am exhausted.</span><br/>
<span class="jane">JANE: Of course dear, please don’t let us keep you any longer than you have to.</span><br/>
<span class="jane">JANE: Kanaya, I’ll call down to reception to have a chauffeur escort the two of you home, I’m so so sorry you had to be dragged out like this today.</span><br/>
<span class="kanaya">KANAYA: Thank You For The Courtesy Jane.</span><br/>
<span class="jane">JANE: My pleasure.</span></p>
<p>Jane speaks with the same sickly saccharine smile and tone she would do when ending a business meeting after a deal gone sour. The thing is, given how much time she’s spent doing that exact thing in this exact boardroom, it’s difficult to tell where the niceties end and the genuine affection and concern for her friends begin. On a good day, Kanaya would give her the benefit of the doubt and be appreciative of the generosity, but today was most certainly not a good day.</p>
<p><span class="dirk">DIRK: Rose.</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: Yes?</span><br/>
<span class="dirk">DIRK: Before you go. If you need any help, you know where I am.</span><br/>
<span class="kanaya">KANAYA: Any Help?</span><br/>
<span class="rose">ROSE: ...<br/>
ROSE: Thank you.</span></p>
<p>Kanaya continues to support Rose towards the lift, acting with enough decorum for the pair of them, compensating for Rose’s hunched and trembling figure.</p>
<p>Throughout the various groups’ exits, John remains at the table, idly scrolling through his phone, wincing at the sight of himself in various news outlets tweets about the day’s events.</p>
<p>Normally any of the founders would have a small national holiday to mark their birthdays. Nothing spectacular, just a mention in the news publications and a date marked on mass produced calendars, but there was little sight of that on today’s timeline. Yet another April 13<sup>th</sup> come and gone with little to celebrate, despite how eventful the day had proven to be.</p>
<p>Happy fucking birthday, John.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Bit of a long one this time, the next few chapters will focus more on dialogues between specific characters trying to make sense of this whole situation amongst themselves before the gang regroups to figure out what on earth they can even try to do to make sense of this.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. TREE(3)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's not infinite. It never was, and never will be.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>TREE(3)</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <strong>0: not 1nf1n1te?</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>1: are you surprised?</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>0: for the sake of narrat1ve clar1ty, absolutely</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>1: yeah, n0where even cl0se t0 infinite. n0t that y0u can really get cl0se t0 infinite</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>0: you e1ther are or you arent</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>1: there’s 0nly a finite number 0f instances 0ur friends can manifest in</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>1: s0ner 0r later, alth0ugh mostly later, even the m0st minute 0f details in 0ur friends’ lives, right d0wn t0 the physically inc0mprehensible level will begin t0 repeat, n0 matter h0w small the difference between these instances, the m0st miniscule of differences represents a c0mpletely different 0utcome</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>0: 1terat1ons and repet1t1ons of that wh1ch weve seen before</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>1: it was never truly g0ing t0 be infinite. just far t00 large f0r us to even begin to c0mprehend</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>0: the k1nd of large where even knowledge of how large it truly is has the potential to br1ng about some kind of algebra1cal apocalypse</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>1: abs0lutely</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>1: and this is just 0ne instance of the imp0ssibly large number of our friends’ manifestati0ns</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>0: and 1ts our job to make th1s 1nstance the1rs and no one elses</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>1: precisely</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>0: the way 1 see 1t, each prev1ous 1terat1on our fr1ends ex1stence has been under some form of d1rect control from a dub1ously malevolent th1rd party</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>1: thats c0rrect</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>0: 1n th1s case 1ts us</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>1: als0 c0rrect</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>0: so 1n order for th1s 1nstance to truly belong to those we seek to protect...</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>1: it cann0t be under 0ur influence. even in the slightest</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>0:wh1ch 1t absolutely 1s r1ght now...</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>1: yeah. y0u see the pr0blem?</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>0: yes</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>1: if it helps, think 0f us as the ushers 0f finality</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>0: oooooh 1 l1ke the sound of that</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>1: i th0ught y0u might</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>0: what does 1t mean though?</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>1: y0u kn0w what it means</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>0: humour me</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>1: in 0rder for 0ur friends t0 reach the state were aiming f0r with this wh0le task, the st0ry needs t0 end</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>0: :o</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>1: the tale were weaving, the st0ry were telling, 0ur friends cann0t be truly free 0f any external influence until we cease</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>0: then why are we pok1ng our noses 1nto the1r l1ves try1ng to get them to be 1ndependent </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>1: we d0nt have n0ses, and were n0t</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>1: were simply guiding them t0 the p0int they need t0 reach in 0rder t0 0btain that aut0n0my required f0r them t0 live 0ut their 0wn lives</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>0: and once we reach that po1nt...</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>1: we st0p. we finish 0ur ascension</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>0: the story ends?</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>1: 0ur st0ry ends</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>0: and the story of our fr1ends beg1ns</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>1: it begins. 0n their 0wn terms</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>0: for the f1rst t1me</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>1: it will be their st0ry and n0 0ne elses f0r what will truly be the first time</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>0: just one 1nstance 1n the endless ocean of essence 1s more than enough </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>1: we can c0ntinue t0 lead them d0wn this path until 0ur influence is n0 l0nger needed, then hand over what little reigns we are using, and let them live 0ut their instance as they see fit</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>0: just a shame that w1ll only come about at the end of our story</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>1: its the 0nly way</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>0: lets go end our world</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Who are 0 and 1? Or who were they. Or who will they be. </p>
<p>It should be pretty easy to figure out by now.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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